*flush*

To those of you who truly know me, I know that you have been wondering how long till I take this blog to the toilet....today is the day.

For those who struggle with toilet humor or discussing toilets, I can safely say that you are probably not related to me or my family, and that you can stop reading tonight's blog now.

So why today? Why have I chosen to take it to the toilet today? because truthfully that is all I have done, for most of today....taken it to the toilet. Man, I woke up with a not so pleasant rumbling in my tummy, followed by a sharp pain and a 50 meter dash, whilst tripping over the cat and rubbing sleep from my eyes. nothing like diarrhea to get you up and running.

I grew up in a family where grandpa's/uncles asked you to pull their finger, followed by them farting when you did. Big brother taught me songs about the runs as we sat in the car.It wasn't taboo to us. In our household you called it what it was, [even if you were blaming the cat]... we farted, we didn't bubble or pass wind. . . nope a fart was a fart.

I also think that I have earned the right to talk about toilets because as a missionary I have experienced a vast array of them, from the good to the extremely please-dont-let-me-die-in-here type bad ones. I have earned my stripes and wear them proudly.  For real, some toilets were so bad that you would rather drop a squat in the bush than use the available loo. it just happens that way sometimes. I have also seen ridiculously funny things in bathrooms. like footprints on toilet seats of a western toilet, in a country more acquainted with using eastern [hole in the ground] toilets. . .Or western toilet users peering down at eastern toilets trying to figure out which way to face. so many funny stories that i could share.

We all go to the bathroom, its part of life. Whether you saying you are going "to spend a penny" or "pee" or "make a number two" or "Talk on the phone" or "take a dump" . the metaphors are endless. . . our bodies need us to rid ourselves of certain toxins and well...crap.. . rubbish...poop.

I was talking to my boss on the phone this morning about not feeling so great because i felt like all my insides had fallen outside, as i flushed my world down the loo. She was sweet and supportive and recommended that i pop downstairs to the pharmacy and buy something to stop the runs. instinctively i said no.

Don't get me wrong. i don't like the runs. And the quicker I can be done with them the better. But . . . if its a virus or bug causing this, I aint taking meds to stop me running and there by lock that virus in my body for longer. nope, no way. no how. that thing must run its course, literally. . . .and get out. what doesn't pay rent must get out, a wise man often told me.....

how about our lives? maybe some of us need a bit of an emotional enema to get rid of some of the junk we been holding on to, so that we can stop having it eat at our insides and cause emotional bloating etc. Even in Nehemiah when they were repairing the wall, and its gates, for the city. Nehemiah made sure that the Dung Gate was repaired. He knew the importance of having a designated time and place for waste removal. a build up of poop is not just disgusting but brings about decay and disease and death. . . yes even emotional poop will do this not just to your soul and spirit but also your physical body.

Maybe its time for a bit of a clean out, its not healthy to keep it all in there, and besides its  a quick way to loose some unwanted weight. [not literally - figuratively - all that burden and stress that we pile on with holding onto hurts and un-forgiveness and sin and rubbish...you dont need to be lugging that around with you all day everyday].

and one more thing before i leave, having finally given  in and written about the toilet. . . let me add some humor. . . in Afrikaans the word for specimen is written as "monster".  so being bilingual and having many bilingual patients, often this sentence is said to me in a day.

"Here is your pee pee monster".

finished.

Me; rolling on the floor. crying. with laughter.

She said "pee pee monster".

it never gets old. No i wont grow up.

AND now [previous homegroup of mine] I still maintain I was not the first in our group to always take the conversation down hill.... i merely joined the rest of you, so as not to be left out.