"But WHY?!?!?!?!"...."Well...why NOT?"

You ever have those moments where something happens [good or bad] and you have no clue as to why it happened? Tonight I am pondering about some of those [good] moments.

You see soon I will be enjoying something that I have longed for, and have watched God weave it together in a way that has left me a little curious and asking "but why?"... i am definitely not complaining, far from it. But sometimes I don't understand the generosity of God.

I am quite tired and am working in quite a stressful job. The job, itself i love. I really like my boss too. In fact the job is nothing short of a miracle and answer to prayer. Coming back from the mission field, then taking a break to recover and deal with PTSD, the reality of needing to get secular work loomed in the background. i remember in the end of June saying to God. "if its not ministry, and i have to go back into secular work for a while, the job i enjoyed the most was being a medical receptionist. But i would prefer to start in a new practice, so i am not filling someone else's shoes." Let me tell you that new medical practices are rare. I didn't here God laugh in response. I heard him simply say "September". i knew He was giving me rest time. i sent my cv to many places and had many interviews and seemed well liked. somehow i never landed the jobs. Then wise people would ask me, after an interview, "is it a new practice?" "is it medical?" "when is the start date" and it never lined up with my desire. that explains why i wasn't getting the jobs. This job miraculously opened up, with being interviewed middle of August and the start date was 1 September. My boss is great and its a new medical practice. it really is a God answer.

Being a new practice i had to make peace with a few things that weren't my ideal, but were temporary. 1] working Saturdays. 2] starting pay was lower than i originally wanted. 3] no real leave for at least the first year.

I was getting tired working Saturdays and a few months in my boss made a decision to end the practice being open on a Saturday. a few months in she also gave me a raise. I am tired at the moment and wanting just a small break to unwind. The problem is if i take time off she needs to be able to not have the rooms open on those days but only be available for emergencies. not ideal at the moment. But I asked the question anyway...aiming for a potential long weekend in August. a month after i asked the question she said yes....that was the first miracle.

Then i sat with a dilema...if i had time off and could go away. [a friend and i were planning on going away] . . . where would i go? what would i want to do? i was so tired that i wasnt even sure. Financially i knew it wasn't viable either but i also knew i wanted it and needed it. So i prayed a bit. somewhere in my heart i longed for an African Escape...a bush holiday, even a visit to a game reserve... but wallet and doubting spirit didn't think now would be a good time. So i looked at alternatives. chilling in a place in a cooler part of South Africa, with a fireplace....good rest and relaxation time...so we started looking at those options.

The places we liked, and could afford all answered "no availability". I got a bit despondent. i really needed the rest. i was even looking at some places i couldnt afford and thinking, "God you can provide the money." there was one in particular which are awesome treehouse type cabins...nope. no availability.

Then my mom reminded me of someone we know who has guest cottages in Zululand. and i googled where it was. It is gorgeous. Such a nice setting, almost a log cabin feel, on the edge of a forest with a 10 meter high sky walk through the forest....That is good bush. I contacted the person, they not only had availability but also gave us a huge discount because we know them....fantastic. i started to get excited, it felt like God had seen me trying to settle for second best and gone, "i have this covered, just wait and see."

one thing i was planning on, in a completely different region, that i have longed for years to do, was visit a butterfly farm. always been a dream to enter the Dome and be surrounded by gorgeous vegetation and beautiful butterflies. This happened to be in the cooler option. . . next thing my friend sends me a message.

The new venue, with its gorgeous forest, has a butterfly dome on the edge of it. FOR REAL!!!! yay. So i get forest, and bush and a price that works. it doesn't get much better than this. . . oh but it does. We are staying in the new venue on the sunday and monday nights. We decided to just chill on the saturday here in Durban. . . but somehow someway someone found a deal and has paid for us to stay the Saturday night in a game reserve, complete with early morning game drive. i went and googled the accommodation and its tree houses, on stilts. what are the chances?  All come together, dreams, desires and location. perfectly. its not because i have done anything special or have a direct hotline. it has left me wondering, "But why?!?!?!" to which God lovingly replies, "Why not?"....turns out HE digs me enough to even enjoy helping plan my holidays.... how awesome is that? Not only does he love me, but he likes me and is involved in every area of my life. what a privilege.