I long for change . . . wait . . . correct that. . . i CRAVE change. I am not one who likes a "stagnant life". . . not for me. Combine my craving for change with creativity and an all or nothing personality. . . WOW! that is quite the combination, but i love how God mixed all of this into me.
One of the ways this is evident in my life is in my house. I rearrange my furniture at least once every 2 -3 months. i need to be able to move things around. if i cant then i paint walls or buy decor or something. i cant have it the same for too long. i have always been like this. If i cant change my house i change my hair or dress sense. i will find something to change. [maybe i should earn a living giving people make overs. . . give my own hair a rest. . . just kidding.]
So true to form i woke up this morning and decided my house needed some changes, complete move around type changes. . . Now as i settled down for the night to rest after hours of moving thing around, my back is reminding me that i am not as young as i used to be and that maybe next time i need to enlist help before moving the tv cabinet, or at least empty it of the contents first.
I think as humans, most of us want change. We might require routines, in our daily lives but when it comes to ourselves, who we are. . . whether it be physically or our personality, i am sure we all have an area that we want changed. If this weren't true, then why does everyone suddenly make New Year's resolutions?
I do that, every New Year, and never manage to stick to them. Often i notice something about me that needs changing, and i will wait for the first of a month before implementing it. I know i need to exercise, so as of the 1st of *insert a month* i will get up half an hour earlier and get some exercise in before work. It also never happens. Then i get frustrated . . and move some furniture around. . . just kidding.
It's difficult when you are facing things, like for me bouncing back from PTSD and depression. On my bad days i wonder if i will ever be over it, if i will ever bounce back. . . change? i long for, crave, that one big decision/change that will flip the switch and make the world as it was before this, or bring me out on the other side of the tunnel. It doesn't happen. But today i looked back to where life was a year ago . .. and i realize how much as actually changed. Even my dark, difficult days now are nothing compared to how bad it was this time last year.
I realized that it wasn't that one big decision that did it, it was lots of smaller decisions, baby steps each day, that is helping lead to the change. It's a difficult thing for an all or nothing personality to grasp. But little by little i am walking on and out, and even though it doesn't seem all that different, if i look back i can see the difference. i can see the change. And you can too. with support, and love and God, and taking it one step at a time, things can change.
Phil 4:!3
For I can do everything through Christ,[a] who gives me strength.
not only can i do anything through Christ . . . BUT...even more importantly . . .
Eph 3:20
Now to him who is ableto do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us
No comments:
Post a Comment