When your security starts to shake.

IT HAS BEEN A WEEK!

I have no idea what happened this week.... but something is [hopefully WAS] definitely going down.

It was like EVERY area in my life that could be shaken was starting to shake.... You know when you are in a place and there are some struggles, but its ok because at the same time there is one or two things that are secure and keep you going.... and then BOOM!! it all goes south....crash crumble....

Of course these types of week usually wait to happen....they wait till you are tired [check], emotional [check] vulnerable [check] God is putting his finger on "tender" areas of your life [check. check. check].

So yup....one of those weeks. . . and then i think its ok i will go to work and not think about these things....but you get to work and there too things are starting to crumble....and there is stress there too and so much chaotic business that you just want 5 minutes to literally be able to breathe.

And the week progresses like that and eventually it hits your super soft spot....You see i love where i live....make that loved. yes it has one or two issues that wear me down....then a BIG issue moved in...but finally that BIG issue was given marching orders and I was looking forward to my safe place becoming my safe place again.....so i woke up yesterday morning only to find footprints in my garden and some garden lights etc stolen....livid does not come close to describing my anger.

This is meant to be my safe place.... having a place to call home is my biggest desire and always has been. i am often a nomad and travellor and have often moved and been uprooted. i moved 9 times in a single year recently [including moving countries].... i was finally in a place for more than a year, starting to feel like it was home....wanting to settle and then....intruders....and all sense of security disappears.

Add to the equation a stressful day that later ended with a fight with my landlord who doesn't want to do anything about security because it causes an inconvenience for him. YES he literally said that. [i had originally spoken to him a year ago about security weak spots and nothing was done.]....so by the end of yesterday, after an equally intense week, my blood pressure was raised, my temper was in overdrive and i was not in the best of moods.

i know days/weeks/months like this come and go. I know that life will always have its ups and downs.... i hate that it happens all at once...but what can you do? you have to keep on keeping on....and you have to hold fast to the ONLY secure thing....God.

I can only keep waiting for the fullfillment of this.... i know that one day it has to happen....one day.
Job 11:18
You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety.