There can be only one

This is going to show my age, and I am not endorsing the movie... but way back in the day their was a movie about immortal beings, and the only way you could kill them was to chop off their heads. All these immortals were running around killing each other [i think to gain the others power]. All the catch phrase was, "there can be only one."

Anyway. .  .tonight I was having a conversation some christian people about potential marriage partners and choosing a marriage partner etc. One person in the conversation is of the school of thought that there is one, predestined God ordained person for you. I truthfully have never been of this train of thought.

 So it was an interesting conversation from two different perspectives. Now one of the reasons I tend away from the belief of one person only being God's will for you. [not talking polygamy here] . . . is because in my eyes it takes away from the freedom of choice. I don't serve the type of God who overrides me free will. . . it doesn't gel well with my theology. And if God wont override my free will in the area of salvation, then why would he suddenly do it for the area of marriage?

Also, as romantic as it sounds, having only one soul mate does make it too easy for the devil, and life to step in and prevent the two of you ever getting together. abortion or car crash or cancer etc, could end that plan and leave you single for your existence. It also negates second chances and second marriages etc...because after all "There can be only one".

Then how do we explain divorce in the church and bad christian marriages? . . . I am not removing God from the equation, not at all. But I don't believe its a "only one" or nothing deal. I think God has given us free will and the ability to make decisions for a reason. On top of that He has given us intelligence, and created us in a certain way that is compatible with certain types. He has also given certain other people similar callings and destinies. He has given us the Holy Spirit and promises to give us wisdom if we ask. So we are not standing on our own [unless we choose to] when we make the big decision about marriage. He is at our side, readily available to give input when asked.

I will never forget an incident a long time ago. A close church friend and I found ourselves becoming attracted to each other. One of us had been overseas for a while, and we had missed each others friendship. Thank God this is a mature godly christian friend, with healthy boundaries. We openly spoke about these new feelings. [we had been friends for over 5 years]. We both said we felt the same way . . . but He suggested we step back and pray about it first before making any decision.  Both of us felt God say, "No...its not a good idea". It was so good for both of us. Our friendship remained intact and decades later we can both see why it wasn't a good idea down the line, even though in the moment it seemed to fit perfectly.

We still had the choice to listen to God's advice or not, and I am very grateful that we both did. So I do believe God plays a huge role in this decision but I do not believe in "there can be only one."

It was interesting to hear the other person in our conversation tonight say something. The "only one" person was quite passionate about their point, How if "there is only one" then you won't ever walk away from them or get mad etc. The other person pipes up and ended the debate on that point with asking what happens when things go wrong? who do you then blame? do you then turn around and say, "God, the woman YOU gave me....." ouch. . . game. set. match. end of discussion.

Whatever your stance on this debate. . . i do highly encourage you to SEEK his face, more than your emotions . . . and don't rush your decisions because emotions can be more convincing than we realize, but emotions are also great at exaggerating things.