Oh look....another box

I was doing my usual quick scroll through social media as I sipped on my first cuppa coffee for the day. This post/advert briefly caught my eye. . . I can't remember the exact wording but it was something along the lines of this. The danger of telling a single story about ourselves or our lives is that we will become only that story. If you continuously portray or perceive a person as one thing, then that is what they become.

I spent about a decade of my life in Albania, as most know. We, as humans, often use the place people live as an identity marker. I know in South Africa, I was not born in Durban, but most of the Durbanites frown upon people from where I was born [close to JHB] and so I didn't disclose to them where I was born, I pretended I was always a durbanite. Yes, where we come from can influence who we are... but it is not the sum total of who we are.

So I spent time in Albania, but before that I had spent 23 years in South Africa [born and raised], and almost a year in America. What many have not grasped yet is since Albania I have been back in South Africa almost 5 years.  Yet, I am still referred to as the girl from Albania, or Albanian or the missionary. I have been off the mission field half as long as i was on it. But because for so many years I was on it, it has become yet another box for my life, yet another identity assigned to me. But surely I am more than that? Surely there is more to it, but the record of that portion of my life is still playing in people's minds and so it becomes me [to them]. And it will become me to myself if I let it.

I can understand how for some they followed the story so intensely that its hard for them to realise or see that there is more to me. But I am more than Albania. It has been a struggle returning to a culture that was once familiar after a decade in another culture because yes it did shape me and influence me. But in the years since I have been back there have been many life experiences that have shaped me, influenced me and informed me. I understand how I myself, when struggling to adjust, or friends/family/acquaintances when struggling to grasp the changes in me [especially if they knew me before Albania] will want to default on the Albania box to explain it all away. 

But again I ask....surely I am more than that. Surely in the great scheme of life, let alone eternity, I am more than one nation's influence on me. More than one story. Surely there is more to me than the one box still assigned to my identity. Just like a mom is more than a mom. or a wife is more than a wife. or a son is more than a son. Not every American is the same, not every South African is the same. Not every Durbanite is the same. [the list is endless]

Yes it will always be a part of who they are but the have the potential for so much more if we can strip down the boxes we put each other in and allow ourselves the freedom to be ourselves and tell all of our story.  Their is so much diversity around, lets stop boxing it all up and rather spread it out, put it on display.

But first ...Let me take a selfie.

Nope, this is not a blog about the pros or cons of selfie taking, nor the trick to finding the right angle. It is about random occurrences that flitted across my life path yesterday, completely unexpected.

I wanted some down time, the sun was out, so I went down town, to our beach front area. It's where I like to exhale. Despite it being winter, it was a balmy 24 degrees Celcius by the beach, the ocean was still relatively warm enough to swim and there was just a light breeze. Perfection.

As per normal I first went to the aquarium to say hello to all day fishies, and give my shark a kiss hello.

I have an annual pass, so I can go into the aquarium and waterpark section as often as I like. It's great.
I think this little fellow recognised me because he made a bee line straight for me.

So after chilling with the fishies and author marine life, I decide to wander back up to the surface and go enjoy the winter sun on the beach. First plan of action a stroll in the shoreline with the waves breaking over my feet. This is where it all began. 3 young guys [buy young I meant at lest 15 to 20 yrs younger than me] come jogging up to me as I'm strolling and ask if they can each take a selfie with me. I politely decline and pick up my pace a bit as I walk away. all the time in my mind thinking, "well that's odd. Never had that before".  I walked 500m along before turning and walking back... after my 1km stroll I decide to stretch out in the sun for a bit. Another youth comes along and says, "excuse me ....please can I take a selfie with you?" Again I decline. A few minutes later a third youth comes along, this one had a more....um....bubbly strong personality type. She plopped next to me on my beach towel, lifted my hand with my phone up and started singing, "Selfie selfie, please take a selfie with me." given no option, i gave in. I still dont even know her name because once shed accomplished her task of having a selfie with me she simply said thank you and carried on with her day.

Never under estimate the randomness that could cross your path at any second.  Another random act that happened was someone trying to convert me to become Mennonite because I looked like I had a pure soul. Now I will be honest, I have studied a lot about Mennonite culture but did not realise that there was a big following here in South Africa.

This week I also learnt that if you want someone to stop messing with you, and taking advantage of you, and if you have just cause....sometimes you have to threaten legal action and get hold of the boss of bosses. It is amazing how much more quickly and efficiently you can resolve an issue that is been lingering and dawdling about. I am women hear me roar.....ha ha ha ha ha. 

One more day of week ...YAY...and Durban winter is showing off again. Yes up the hill from Durban [where I now live] can get very cold, but our cold days are few and far between. On the whole we have great mild winters. And the closer you are to Durban itself the better, as the ocean stays warm and thus helps keep the city warm.