I think last night's blog might not have made much sense . . . part of the reason was i was really down and sick, i suspect food poisoning . . . so it was hard to keep my thoughts together as I had a raging fever, that made me slightly delusional .... no really. i was walking through a shopping center convinced i was about to become the new lead character in a movie about a disease outbreak. you know the one where the person is healthy one moment and then suddenly, always in a public place, they drop down dead having unleashed their germs upon all present so that the disease spreads like wild fire and takes out the entire earth's population....
But i didn't die, and i didn't unleash a plague, i just suffered the repercussions of bad sushi . . . to the point that i had to try sleep sitting up because if i lay flat....well lets just say "it" all came back up....i think sitting up helped gravity keep it down.
I am not saying what i wrote was untrue . . . not at all . . . just possibly that it wasnt written in a way that makes sense. . . so if it didn't make sense... thats ok...its hard enough to be searching for answers, even harder to try and voice them to another ...but combine that with a bad fever....well its pointless.
I sat talking to a friend about some of my thoughts today. . . trying to express what I was really searching for. . . because my heart is not to criticize the church. Yes, i think that all churches are flawed because full truth hasnt been revealed yet, and also because it has mankind leading it, and we arent perfect because we arent God. And yes I am suffering from round peg square hole syndrome at the moment when it comes to church, so that won't help my point of view. . . but i think i finally hit the nail on the head this morning while chatting....
What is it that makes church unique, special, different? What is God's intent for church?
Because a lot of what we DO as the church can, and often does, function without church. let me explain that statement. There are charities [christian or non] feeding the poor, helping the orphan, doing community work. There are para-church organisations doing mission work and reaching the lost. You can fellowship with christians who arent in your church, and do it at a venue that is NOT church. So much of what we functioning in as church, also functions well outside of church and without church. You can worship in your own home, alone or with friends. You can get the word of God not just from your bible, but the click of a button and you access thousands of sermons etc. So if church is not solely about WHAT we do, or worship or relationship or the word. . . then what is it about?
If all those things can exist [in a successful godly way] outside of the church. . . then what is it exactly that is so special about the church? What was on God's heart when He planned and purposed and set church aside? what makes His bride beautiful? What makes it different to the rest of these things being done?
I guess that is the answer I am looking for. . . and perhaps it really is something as simple as its not what WE DO but WHO WE ARE, that makes the church different. Just as that is true for us as individuals. I know one of my biggest struggles in life is wanting to be loved and accepted for WHO I AM not what I DO. And as a result anything that smells just a hint of works orientated relationship makes me want to kick back and lash out and yell FAKE! as i run away from it. . . .because I have been popular for my gifting before. I have been welcomed because i fulfill a need . . . but when you are no longer needed, the affection wanes. . . .
Maybe that is why at the moment I am over aware of the works orientated church our culture seems trapped in, and why i am disgruntled not just with my lack of relationships but the supposed state of the church. [as seen through my eyes].
Maybe its because i too have lost sight of WHO the church is because I am focused on WHAT the church does. . . after all, She is and will always remain His beloved one, His beautiful Bride, His passion.
But yet, surely there has to be more than just that....or does there?
Sunday, July 31, 2016
Saturday, July 30, 2016
questions
I know that I cut last nights blog short . . . .I literally, hastily ended it . . . there were a few reasons for this.
1] If I had continued it might have ended up a novel and I might have had no sleep.
2] There is a lot on my mind and in my heart, and lot that I am processing. It's not processed yet, so I don't want to write things hastily.
3] I don't want to write things hastily as I know this could be a sensitive topic to Christians, including myself.
So, on the days I do decide to blog about the thoughts swimming around my brain, regarding church and the way i function in it or see it functioning. . . please take things with a pinch of salt and please layer a ton of Grace. I am at a questioning stage in my life, I process by speaking and by writing. . .so be gracious as I explore.
It's not easy to express my thoughts, partly cause I am still forming them and also because I know a lot of people aren't in the same place that I am in because they have no walked the same road that I have walked.
I think a lot of what is stirring all this up in me, is a deep desire for intimacy. First and Foremost with God. I have been around the block, His word is true, His principles work and He is Faithful. I no longer want to see the fruit from function/principles/obedience [dare I say religion] . . . I want the fruit that comes from intimacy. I don't want to be in the out courts, experiencing the blessings of sacrifice, I want to be in the Holy of Holies hearing His voice, basking in His presence.
I know I often us the example of Jesus healing the crippled person at the pool of Bethesda. He only healed the one. . . when He could have healed all. He didn't move in what He could do or desired to do, he withdrew the night before, and met with God. . . His will was to do the will of the Father, and only that. . . I want to be close enough again to hear that still small voice, instead of running in what I can do.
I also desire relationship with people. I am beginning to wonder if the church has lost its balance in this area? If I look at how much time is spent in meetings, and serving . . . and compare it to how much time is spent in pure socialising/friendship . . . i see a massive imbalance. Most Christians I know only have time to juggle 3 things: Work, Family and Church commitments. Some manage to squeeze in a gym session as well....and i general if you manage to have a social event just for the sake of friendship once every 3 months then you think you are doing well....isn't this a bit off? a non-christian I know said to me she understands why I have struggled to rebuild friendships here. I asked her why, and she said, "because everyone is to busy doing church stuff." . . . if we are created first and foremost for relationship, and we are restored through Jesus blood back into relationship . . . then when did function take the place of relationship?
Are we over committed to serving? Are our friendships a means to an end, ie to disciple someone or raise them up in their gifting or serve together or do we actually want to be their friend? Is church meant to be a place for relationships and friendships or a place of service?
What if i was wrong all these years, expecting church to be a place to find friends, maybe that isn't actually the purpose of church at all? Just like your family is your family, they are not by default your friends. It doesn't mean you dont get on with them, but there is a different dynamic and different boundaries within a family to within a friendship. So is church meant to be more like a family? Would we have less wounded christians if we didn't place the burden of expected friendship on the church but instead saw it as a place of worship and service? or a place of family?
Or is it meant to be a place for relationship with each other? but then if it is, have we fallen short of this? I realised that despite years of studying up on church, and years of being taught church doctrine, and being in the church. After years of church being one of my biggest passions that i literally gave up my life and country for . . . I don't really know what church truly is meant to be.
I know that I have seen it done wrong over the years. I know that I am hurt and have been hurt because its not adding up to my expectations. I don't know if those expecations are correct or not though. Because i am not 100% sure what the face of the church should look like.
So I am digging deep and exploring the word of God to try catch a glimpes, to restore what needs restoring in me, through repentance and/or healing. As I said its a process . . . one that takes time . . so not every blog will be on it, because in the week i generaly dont have mental capacity or time to dig into this . . .but there will be some more thoughts on this topic coming soon.
1] If I had continued it might have ended up a novel and I might have had no sleep.
2] There is a lot on my mind and in my heart, and lot that I am processing. It's not processed yet, so I don't want to write things hastily.
3] I don't want to write things hastily as I know this could be a sensitive topic to Christians, including myself.
So, on the days I do decide to blog about the thoughts swimming around my brain, regarding church and the way i function in it or see it functioning. . . please take things with a pinch of salt and please layer a ton of Grace. I am at a questioning stage in my life, I process by speaking and by writing. . .so be gracious as I explore.
It's not easy to express my thoughts, partly cause I am still forming them and also because I know a lot of people aren't in the same place that I am in because they have no walked the same road that I have walked.
I think a lot of what is stirring all this up in me, is a deep desire for intimacy. First and Foremost with God. I have been around the block, His word is true, His principles work and He is Faithful. I no longer want to see the fruit from function/principles/obedience [dare I say religion] . . . I want the fruit that comes from intimacy. I don't want to be in the out courts, experiencing the blessings of sacrifice, I want to be in the Holy of Holies hearing His voice, basking in His presence.
I know I often us the example of Jesus healing the crippled person at the pool of Bethesda. He only healed the one. . . when He could have healed all. He didn't move in what He could do or desired to do, he withdrew the night before, and met with God. . . His will was to do the will of the Father, and only that. . . I want to be close enough again to hear that still small voice, instead of running in what I can do.
I also desire relationship with people. I am beginning to wonder if the church has lost its balance in this area? If I look at how much time is spent in meetings, and serving . . . and compare it to how much time is spent in pure socialising/friendship . . . i see a massive imbalance. Most Christians I know only have time to juggle 3 things: Work, Family and Church commitments. Some manage to squeeze in a gym session as well....and i general if you manage to have a social event just for the sake of friendship once every 3 months then you think you are doing well....isn't this a bit off? a non-christian I know said to me she understands why I have struggled to rebuild friendships here. I asked her why, and she said, "because everyone is to busy doing church stuff." . . . if we are created first and foremost for relationship, and we are restored through Jesus blood back into relationship . . . then when did function take the place of relationship?
Are we over committed to serving? Are our friendships a means to an end, ie to disciple someone or raise them up in their gifting or serve together or do we actually want to be their friend? Is church meant to be a place for relationships and friendships or a place of service?
What if i was wrong all these years, expecting church to be a place to find friends, maybe that isn't actually the purpose of church at all? Just like your family is your family, they are not by default your friends. It doesn't mean you dont get on with them, but there is a different dynamic and different boundaries within a family to within a friendship. So is church meant to be more like a family? Would we have less wounded christians if we didn't place the burden of expected friendship on the church but instead saw it as a place of worship and service? or a place of family?
Or is it meant to be a place for relationship with each other? but then if it is, have we fallen short of this? I realised that despite years of studying up on church, and years of being taught church doctrine, and being in the church. After years of church being one of my biggest passions that i literally gave up my life and country for . . . I don't really know what church truly is meant to be.
I know that I have seen it done wrong over the years. I know that I am hurt and have been hurt because its not adding up to my expectations. I don't know if those expecations are correct or not though. Because i am not 100% sure what the face of the church should look like.
So I am digging deep and exploring the word of God to try catch a glimpes, to restore what needs restoring in me, through repentance and/or healing. As I said its a process . . . one that takes time . . so not every blog will be on it, because in the week i generaly dont have mental capacity or time to dig into this . . .but there will be some more thoughts on this topic coming soon.
Friday, July 29, 2016
Something Stinks
I was listening to a local pastor while driving to work today and he used what he said was a common expression, it is not one that I have ever heard but I thought it was hilarious.
"Family and Fish, after 3 days both smell the same."
I know. How random and disgusting is that?
But in context it was true. [obviously not literally about my family].
What he was in essence speaking about was boundaries in different relationships and settings. For eg making sure to keep a healthy and respectful boundary with your boss. Remembering that first and foremost, in the work place, your Boss is your Boss and not your buddy. it was a very interesting and enlightening talk. It really stressed the importance of boundaries because familiarity breeds contempt.
This is an area that God is restoring and challenging me a lot in, over the last two or three years. I realised how vital it is to spiritual health and growth, as well as emotional.mental and physical well being. A lot of our wounds and hurts are caused because of bad boundaries.
He touched on the family unit, work unit and church unit, and how all 3 are different to a friendship unit. It is interesting because not only am I being challenged in the area of boundaries, but I am also questioning whether I have been doing church wrong all these years.
Please read exactly what i wrote, and dont read into what i wrote.. . there is no behind the lines there. I am not questioning my faith in God and WHO He is. I am not questioning a specific church, i am questioning how i have done church. If i have expected it to fulfill roles it wasnt meant to etc. But its hard to dissect because i have done the church thing this way for most of my christian walk, so that is almost 23 years. . . its a difficult to stop and challenge what you have always done and question what is biblical and what isnt. . .. it's possibly something I will write more and more on as i continue to blog. . .
But i do believe that we need to walk in wisdom and discernment. God is a God of order and a God of boundaries, not just with nature when He put laws and boundaries in place, but also in terms of his relationship with mankind. We need to not only respect that but also apply it...so that we don't start to let things get stinky and rotten.
Thursday, July 28, 2016
itchy feet syndrome
I have itchy feet syndrome tonight . . . now I am not referring to Restless Leg Syndrome. . . Although I have inherited a certain parent's trait of absentmindedly rubbing my feet together whilst watching tv or read etc. . .
This is a different kind of itchy feet. . . this is a desire to travel . . . and thirst for adventure. Maybe because I am going away next weekend. Maybe because it has been way too long since I have had the joy of exploring an unknown city/cutlure/country. . . way too long since I have had the delight of discovering the beautiful richness and beauty of people who are not like me and haven't come from where I come from.
Possibly because I watched a tv series tonight where they race around the world doing different tasks and experiencing different cultures. . . whatever it is. . . .these feet are itchy to travel . . . my soul thirsts for adventure. I have had the privilege of so many already but I know that God is far from over with it. . . .
Life is for living. Life is too short to be boring or stagnant. . . this is the reason why i strongly believe, and only buy, creative toilet paper. . . .true story.
My tissues are cartoon characters too. . . my nails are forever different shades and textures and can change multiple times in a week. In fact my boss refers to my nails as, "the office entertainment."
If I wasn't working in a professional job, my hair would permanently be colored outrageous colors. . . and shades and styles. . . it wouldn't be a first for me. here is a glimpse of a few of the many different looks i have toyed with....enjoy . . . its worth a laugh.
life is way to short to not live it to the full . . . one of my favorite movie themes [ there are so many movies centered around this one book, that it is almost a genre of itself.] PETER PAN! i love the imagination and the adventure.
in Hook . . . near the end, is an awesome quote by Peter Pan.
"To live... to live would be an awfully big adventure."
to live truly should be a huge adventure, even in the hard times but then there is another quote from Peter Pan, the book.
"To die will be an awfully big adventure." [JM Barrie]
The greatest adventure, Heaven, Eternal Life is still to come . . . and if i thought earth was awesome and mind blowing. . . how much more so will that be. . . .oh the wonders that still await us!
This is a different kind of itchy feet. . . this is a desire to travel . . . and thirst for adventure. Maybe because I am going away next weekend. Maybe because it has been way too long since I have had the joy of exploring an unknown city/cutlure/country. . . way too long since I have had the delight of discovering the beautiful richness and beauty of people who are not like me and haven't come from where I come from.
Possibly because I watched a tv series tonight where they race around the world doing different tasks and experiencing different cultures. . . whatever it is. . . .these feet are itchy to travel . . . my soul thirsts for adventure. I have had the privilege of so many already but I know that God is far from over with it. . . .
Life is for living. Life is too short to be boring or stagnant. . . this is the reason why i strongly believe, and only buy, creative toilet paper. . . .true story.
My tissues are cartoon characters too. . . my nails are forever different shades and textures and can change multiple times in a week. In fact my boss refers to my nails as, "the office entertainment."
If I wasn't working in a professional job, my hair would permanently be colored outrageous colors. . . and shades and styles. . . it wouldn't be a first for me. here is a glimpse of a few of the many different looks i have toyed with....enjoy . . . its worth a laugh.
in Hook . . . near the end, is an awesome quote by Peter Pan.
"To live... to live would be an awfully big adventure."
to live truly should be a huge adventure, even in the hard times but then there is another quote from Peter Pan, the book.
"To die will be an awfully big adventure." [JM Barrie]
The greatest adventure, Heaven, Eternal Life is still to come . . . and if i thought earth was awesome and mind blowing. . . how much more so will that be. . . .oh the wonders that still await us!
Wednesday, July 27, 2016
There's no place like home
Home is where the heart is!
There is no place like home!
Home Sweet Home!
There are a million sayings all about "HOME!"
Home seems to be very important to a lot of people. I am one of those people, if Home is not feeling Homey then I become seriously grumpy-pants. It is one thing that throws me off kilter.
The problem is that I actually don't know what Home is. I think that a lot of missionaries, as well as people who move a lot or immigrate, will echo these feelings.
Where is home?
Some will say that Home is where the heart is . . . well my heart is divided, a part of it is born and bred and attached to South Africa. A part of it is attached to Albania, with a decade of it interweaving in my heart. I have friends and family scattered among the nations like the stars are scattered on the sky. . .And of course throw in the desire for heaven . . . Home is not fully where my heart is...
Home is where family is? That again, for me personally, hasn't wrung true. My family has been moving around and away from each other for literally over 2 decades. Siblings moving to study and stay in res, or go to the army, or work in another city or another country, or parents immigrating or myself moving to do missionary work and back again and we are scattered across 3 continents. Plus, at this point I have no yet married and so have no immediate family by me. . . so family alone doesn't make it home.
Neither does deep friendships. . .in Albania it was a relational culture, often people would drop in unannounced or stop by for a visit. The house was always busy, and I always made sure i was ready for any guest that might show up. Whether it was the locals, or the small tight knit missionary community. On top of that I had usually had flatmates, and on the same property often had other missionary families living there. It was community time 90% of the time. It made it feel warm and homey... Coming back to my home [south africa] one of the first things i started investing in was furniture, decor and crockery etc to not only make my home feel homey and comfortable but to entertain and host . . . but this home isnt about that. its a different culture, a different way of life. Yet it is still home . . . its just not the same level of relating as albania was. . . so does relationship make it home for me....nope no really.
Is it where I accumulate my possessions . . . again for me not true . . . i have reduced my life down to the size on one suitcase on at least 4 occasions, and had to start over and rebuild from scratch . . . and each time, mostly with God's provision life has rebuilt itself materially. . . so i learnt home is not where i have my comforts and possessions, because those things are all transient . . . the come and go very easily.
So truthfully i have no real concept of home. . . just when i think i catch a glimpse of what it might be, it changes again. . . But years ago God showed me a scripture and its something i cling to . . .
Isaiah 32 :17-18 [NIV]
The fruit of that righteousness will be peace;
its effect will be quietness and confidenceforever.
18 My people will live in peacefuldwelling places,
in secure homes,
in undisturbed places of rest.
It's about as real as Home gets, its what i trust in and hope for and know God will bring . . . not just in heaven but also this side of eternity, because His word is true.
There is no place like home!
Home Sweet Home!
There are a million sayings all about "HOME!"
Home seems to be very important to a lot of people. I am one of those people, if Home is not feeling Homey then I become seriously grumpy-pants. It is one thing that throws me off kilter.
The problem is that I actually don't know what Home is. I think that a lot of missionaries, as well as people who move a lot or immigrate, will echo these feelings.
Where is home?
Some will say that Home is where the heart is . . . well my heart is divided, a part of it is born and bred and attached to South Africa. A part of it is attached to Albania, with a decade of it interweaving in my heart. I have friends and family scattered among the nations like the stars are scattered on the sky. . .And of course throw in the desire for heaven . . . Home is not fully where my heart is...
Home is where family is? That again, for me personally, hasn't wrung true. My family has been moving around and away from each other for literally over 2 decades. Siblings moving to study and stay in res, or go to the army, or work in another city or another country, or parents immigrating or myself moving to do missionary work and back again and we are scattered across 3 continents. Plus, at this point I have no yet married and so have no immediate family by me. . . so family alone doesn't make it home.
Neither does deep friendships. . .in Albania it was a relational culture, often people would drop in unannounced or stop by for a visit. The house was always busy, and I always made sure i was ready for any guest that might show up. Whether it was the locals, or the small tight knit missionary community. On top of that I had usually had flatmates, and on the same property often had other missionary families living there. It was community time 90% of the time. It made it feel warm and homey... Coming back to my home [south africa] one of the first things i started investing in was furniture, decor and crockery etc to not only make my home feel homey and comfortable but to entertain and host . . . but this home isnt about that. its a different culture, a different way of life. Yet it is still home . . . its just not the same level of relating as albania was. . . so does relationship make it home for me....nope no really.
Is it where I accumulate my possessions . . . again for me not true . . . i have reduced my life down to the size on one suitcase on at least 4 occasions, and had to start over and rebuild from scratch . . . and each time, mostly with God's provision life has rebuilt itself materially. . . so i learnt home is not where i have my comforts and possessions, because those things are all transient . . . the come and go very easily.
So truthfully i have no real concept of home. . . just when i think i catch a glimpse of what it might be, it changes again. . . But years ago God showed me a scripture and its something i cling to . . .
Isaiah 32 :17-18 [NIV]
The fruit of that righteousness will be peace;
its effect will be quietness and confidenceforever.
18 My people will live in peacefuldwelling places,
in secure homes,
in undisturbed places of rest.
It's about as real as Home gets, its what i trust in and hope for and know God will bring . . . not just in heaven but also this side of eternity, because His word is true.
Tuesday, July 26, 2016
Just Do It . . . Even When You're Scared
I might have to recant a lot of what I wrote yesterday. . . because our rain truly did turn into major floods that are causing a lot of damage. . . ridiculous to go from a drought straight into a flood.
Today was much the same. Rain. Rain. Downpour. Deluge.Rain.Downpour. Deluge.Heavy Rain. Really heavy rain. etc. Of course the weather intensified and showed no signs of letting up near the end of the day. So we left work early, to try not hit the awful weather in the dark and tried to make our way home.
I HAVE NEVER driven in such bad conditions...EVER. I drive on a horrible freeway to and from work, one that is renowned to be dangerous. and usually has at least one accident a day. it is twisty and turny, and the main reason it is dangerous is usually people's blatant disregard for the law. [but more on that another day].
It normally takes me 20 minutes on a bad day to get home. The weather was so bad it took me an hour and 10 minutes today. There have been days I have driven on this road and the mist has been so thick that you cant see 10 meters in front of your car, and the sides of the road and road signs are not visible. . . that was nothing compared to how bad today was. Mist and bucketing rain, no visibility at all. I could not see the end of my car. Parts of the road were so flooded that it covered my tires. I put my lights on, my fog lights on, my hazards on and inched home, fingers clenching the wheel. it was intense. I was scared. but I did it. I didn't really have much option truthfully.
It reminded me of the scripture I read this morning. Matthew 28:1-10.
The Women go to the tomb, where Jesus WAS buried. They get there, and there is an earthquake and the stone rolled aside and a glowing angel sitting on it, having just come down from heaven. Not to mention the army guards that have fainted in fear/shock....so its no surprise that the angel's first words to the women were, "Do Not Be Afraid."
He then proceeds to tell them to go and inform the other disciples that Jesus has risen, and that Jesus has gone ahead to Galilee. The women run off in obedience but i love that it says this about them....
You see the women were scared. I think they had every right to be scared. If I had just been through ALL that they had been through, I would be a little bit more than simply afraid. . . but yet they still obeyed. incredible. I would probably still be rooted to the spot, mouth gaping, frozen in terror. Not running to obey despite my fear. . . but what i love most about this account is the next part.
Jesus, who was meant to be in Galilee, having gone ahead, detours from the plan and encounters these joyfully scared women. His first words to them, "Don't be afraid!" I almost get the impression, with a touch of poetic licence here, that Jesus made the detour because he was worried about them and wanted to comfort and calm them. He adored these women, and was obviously delighted that despite their fear, they had obeyed. But He wasn't only interested in their obedience and the end results. He stepped into the middle of their encounter to settle their fear.
incredible. So often our fear can overwhelm us. Sometimes we even condemn ourselves for our fear. . . But Jesus didn't. He didn't think, "They are scared but they are still obeying so I will wait till Galilee to see them." and when He did see them, he didn't rebuke them for lack of faith or being weak. No He simply encouraged them not to be scared, reassured them and settled their hearts. Beautiful isn't it?
I encourage you make room in the midst of your fears to let The Savior step in and bring comfort to your heart.
Today was much the same. Rain. Rain. Downpour. Deluge.Rain.Downpour. Deluge.Heavy Rain. Really heavy rain. etc. Of course the weather intensified and showed no signs of letting up near the end of the day. So we left work early, to try not hit the awful weather in the dark and tried to make our way home.
I HAVE NEVER driven in such bad conditions...EVER. I drive on a horrible freeway to and from work, one that is renowned to be dangerous. and usually has at least one accident a day. it is twisty and turny, and the main reason it is dangerous is usually people's blatant disregard for the law. [but more on that another day].
It normally takes me 20 minutes on a bad day to get home. The weather was so bad it took me an hour and 10 minutes today. There have been days I have driven on this road and the mist has been so thick that you cant see 10 meters in front of your car, and the sides of the road and road signs are not visible. . . that was nothing compared to how bad today was. Mist and bucketing rain, no visibility at all. I could not see the end of my car. Parts of the road were so flooded that it covered my tires. I put my lights on, my fog lights on, my hazards on and inched home, fingers clenching the wheel. it was intense. I was scared. but I did it. I didn't really have much option truthfully.
It reminded me of the scripture I read this morning. Matthew 28:1-10.
The Women go to the tomb, where Jesus WAS buried. They get there, and there is an earthquake and the stone rolled aside and a glowing angel sitting on it, having just come down from heaven. Not to mention the army guards that have fainted in fear/shock....so its no surprise that the angel's first words to the women were, "Do Not Be Afraid."
He then proceeds to tell them to go and inform the other disciples that Jesus has risen, and that Jesus has gone ahead to Galilee. The women run off in obedience but i love that it says this about them....
You see the women were scared. I think they had every right to be scared. If I had just been through ALL that they had been through, I would be a little bit more than simply afraid. . . but yet they still obeyed. incredible. I would probably still be rooted to the spot, mouth gaping, frozen in terror. Not running to obey despite my fear. . . but what i love most about this account is the next part.
Jesus, who was meant to be in Galilee, having gone ahead, detours from the plan and encounters these joyfully scared women. His first words to them, "Don't be afraid!" I almost get the impression, with a touch of poetic licence here, that Jesus made the detour because he was worried about them and wanted to comfort and calm them. He adored these women, and was obviously delighted that despite their fear, they had obeyed. But He wasn't only interested in their obedience and the end results. He stepped into the middle of their encounter to settle their fear.
incredible. So often our fear can overwhelm us. Sometimes we even condemn ourselves for our fear. . . But Jesus didn't. He didn't think, "They are scared but they are still obeying so I will wait till Galilee to see them." and when He did see them, he didn't rebuke them for lack of faith or being weak. No He simply encouraged them not to be scared, reassured them and settled their hearts. Beautiful isn't it?
I encourage you make room in the midst of your fears to let The Savior step in and bring comfort to your heart.
Monday, July 25, 2016
Sometimes The Answer is more than expected
Durban is currently cold . . . make that very very cold . . . and very very wet.
Bear in mind, if Durban drops below 20 Degrees Celsius, We put on jackets and scarves and complain bitterly. . . that is 68 F for my american friends. . . That is like a REAL winter's day in Durban.
This weekend it dropped to below 10 degrees Celsius...below 50F [as our high temperature] . . .you must know how BAD it is for us poor Durbanites who seldom experience true winter. I think most ran out and bough blankets and heaters. I never thought I would see the day when one would own a heater in Durban.
There was snow predicted less than a 2 hour drive from Durban, and it arrived. YES ...thick snow that close to home.....brrrr....it has been so cold that my nose is running indoors, and i can see my breath.
There are many confused faces, apparently frozen in their expression, wondering what happened to Durban. Usually people from Johannesburg and other in-land cities come to Durban for their winter break. They bask on the beach and swim in the sea. . . This year is VERY different and people are very grumpy about it.
The rain has finally come, which is part of the reason the temperatures have dropped so low. . . and as mentioned the snow just up the road. All evidence of moisture around us.
You see Durban has been experiencing the worst drought in over 25 years. Our dams are low, water restrictions are in place, many areas are completely without water. Our crops are dying, food cost is shooting up. Our wildlife are dying ...wandering helplessly searching for water. its been a harsh and tragic drought.
We have all been desperate for rain. Desperate for water. Many of us are even supporting supermarkets and charities by buying bottled water and donating it to companies who will take it to those in need.
And now, finally the rain has come. We have had 2 days of consistent rain, and more predicted. So do we rejoice that the drought is breaking. . . no we complain about the cold.
Unfortunately, in some areas there is now flooding, almost the reverse of the drought. and damage being done. But to many of us who are complaining, dont have just cause to complain.... so our temperatures are cooler than we would like. . .but would you prefer to go back to the drought?
Sometimes we want something and we desperately beg for it, and then when we get it we complain because it didn't arrive the way we wanted it to. We don't just want God to give us what we ask for, We want him to give it to us on our terms and according to our conditions, and if we don't get exactly what we want AND how we want it, we complain. . . its amazing how ungrateful we can become.
Sometimes, the answer is not going to be what you expected or how you expected. Sometimes God will give you what you need, not necessarily what you want. When things don't add up....instead of immediately complaining, take a moment and remind yourself that He is God. He is Sovereign. He is love. That means what He does for you, is always motivated out of WHO He is....LOVE! and even though it doesn't add up . . . you can trust in that.
Bear in mind, if Durban drops below 20 Degrees Celsius, We put on jackets and scarves and complain bitterly. . . that is 68 F for my american friends. . . That is like a REAL winter's day in Durban.
This weekend it dropped to below 10 degrees Celsius...below 50F [as our high temperature] . . .you must know how BAD it is for us poor Durbanites who seldom experience true winter. I think most ran out and bough blankets and heaters. I never thought I would see the day when one would own a heater in Durban.
There was snow predicted less than a 2 hour drive from Durban, and it arrived. YES ...thick snow that close to home.....brrrr....it has been so cold that my nose is running indoors, and i can see my breath.
There are many confused faces, apparently frozen in their expression, wondering what happened to Durban. Usually people from Johannesburg and other in-land cities come to Durban for their winter break. They bask on the beach and swim in the sea. . . This year is VERY different and people are very grumpy about it.
The rain has finally come, which is part of the reason the temperatures have dropped so low. . . and as mentioned the snow just up the road. All evidence of moisture around us.
You see Durban has been experiencing the worst drought in over 25 years. Our dams are low, water restrictions are in place, many areas are completely without water. Our crops are dying, food cost is shooting up. Our wildlife are dying ...wandering helplessly searching for water. its been a harsh and tragic drought.
We have all been desperate for rain. Desperate for water. Many of us are even supporting supermarkets and charities by buying bottled water and donating it to companies who will take it to those in need.
And now, finally the rain has come. We have had 2 days of consistent rain, and more predicted. So do we rejoice that the drought is breaking. . . no we complain about the cold.
Unfortunately, in some areas there is now flooding, almost the reverse of the drought. and damage being done. But to many of us who are complaining, dont have just cause to complain.... so our temperatures are cooler than we would like. . .but would you prefer to go back to the drought?
Sometimes we want something and we desperately beg for it, and then when we get it we complain because it didn't arrive the way we wanted it to. We don't just want God to give us what we ask for, We want him to give it to us on our terms and according to our conditions, and if we don't get exactly what we want AND how we want it, we complain. . . its amazing how ungrateful we can become.
Sometimes, the answer is not going to be what you expected or how you expected. Sometimes God will give you what you need, not necessarily what you want. When things don't add up....instead of immediately complaining, take a moment and remind yourself that He is God. He is Sovereign. He is love. That means what He does for you, is always motivated out of WHO He is....LOVE! and even though it doesn't add up . . . you can trust in that.
Sunday, July 24, 2016
Who's The Boss?
I was having a giggle while reading a book on praying with authority. The Author tells many humorous anecdotes about his giant dog, who constantly tries to exert its authority and how the author tries hard to regain that authority and put the dog in its place.
I laugh and think, "Poor man, can't even control his pets." All proud and pompous am I, except for the fact that I have the same problem, possibly a worse problem. Mine isn't a giant dog that outweighs me and can pin me down. . . mine is a cat. . . a cute little white and ginger ball of joy who also happens to rule our house.
A friend gave me a sign for my house, it says " a cat and its slaves live here" . . . true story. Today my cat yet again proved that he rules to roost. it is bucketing rain outside, and cold. [this type of cold is VERY rare for Durban.] My cat clearly wasn't coping with the cold and wanted me to go to bed, so that he could snuggle up to me and use my body warmth. At the very least he wanted my lap to curl up on.... My lap was not available as I was sitting painting at my art table. I wasn't sitting on a normal chair, but on an ottoman. my cat was under the table, swatting my legs. i held my ground and didn't respond.
Next thing i feel a thud on my back, followed by sharp claws. My cat [who is not a small breed, and is a bit chunky and heavy] and run and leaped onto my back and was climbing up it. Next he sat on my shoulder, peered around toward the front of my face and started licking my nose. I pulled my head away in disgust and leaned back at the same time, not realizing that I was playing right into his ...um...paws.
By leaning back i created the gap he had been hoping for and he climbed down the front of me and pushed his way onto my lap. Purring away in pure contented victorious bliss.
This animal of mine knows his place, and his authority and how to exert it to make his plans work out. I am still convinced that cats just play dumb as part of a scheme to manipulate us. i am sure they are truly intelligent animals. The only time i truly have any authority in my house is when i am holding a bag of cat food.
The good news is . . . that i can regain that authority, truthfully, if i really wanted to . . .because after all he is just a little cat. . . who i clearly indulge and spoil. But the same is true in any area of life. We were created, way back from the start of mankind, to rule and reign and move in authority. Yes that was given away . . . but it was regained by Christ, and through Him we stand again in that authority. . . so truthfully, any area that we are not walking in authority in . . . isn't because we lack the authority, it is because we are choosing not to exercise it over that situation. it really is as simple as that.
Ephesians 1:22
God has put all things under the authority of Christ and has made him head over all things for the benefit of the church
I laugh and think, "Poor man, can't even control his pets." All proud and pompous am I, except for the fact that I have the same problem, possibly a worse problem. Mine isn't a giant dog that outweighs me and can pin me down. . . mine is a cat. . . a cute little white and ginger ball of joy who also happens to rule our house.
A friend gave me a sign for my house, it says " a cat and its slaves live here" . . . true story. Today my cat yet again proved that he rules to roost. it is bucketing rain outside, and cold. [this type of cold is VERY rare for Durban.] My cat clearly wasn't coping with the cold and wanted me to go to bed, so that he could snuggle up to me and use my body warmth. At the very least he wanted my lap to curl up on.... My lap was not available as I was sitting painting at my art table. I wasn't sitting on a normal chair, but on an ottoman. my cat was under the table, swatting my legs. i held my ground and didn't respond.
Next thing i feel a thud on my back, followed by sharp claws. My cat [who is not a small breed, and is a bit chunky and heavy] and run and leaped onto my back and was climbing up it. Next he sat on my shoulder, peered around toward the front of my face and started licking my nose. I pulled my head away in disgust and leaned back at the same time, not realizing that I was playing right into his ...um...paws.
By leaning back i created the gap he had been hoping for and he climbed down the front of me and pushed his way onto my lap. Purring away in pure contented victorious bliss.
This animal of mine knows his place, and his authority and how to exert it to make his plans work out. I am still convinced that cats just play dumb as part of a scheme to manipulate us. i am sure they are truly intelligent animals. The only time i truly have any authority in my house is when i am holding a bag of cat food.
The good news is . . . that i can regain that authority, truthfully, if i really wanted to . . .because after all he is just a little cat. . . who i clearly indulge and spoil. But the same is true in any area of life. We were created, way back from the start of mankind, to rule and reign and move in authority. Yes that was given away . . . but it was regained by Christ, and through Him we stand again in that authority. . . so truthfully, any area that we are not walking in authority in . . . isn't because we lack the authority, it is because we are choosing not to exercise it over that situation. it really is as simple as that.
Ephesians 1:22
God has put all things under the authority of Christ and has made him head over all things for the benefit of the church
Saturday, July 23, 2016
Lonely Wanderer
Today was one of those days when reality is just a little overwhelming. We all have those days, for numerous reasons. Today's culprit . . . loneliness.
I want my blog to be true to life, not just sunshine and marshmallows and happy thoughts. I don't want to hide my bad days, I have spent to many years doing just that, for the sake of appearance. So I decided to be honest about today.
It was so lonely, and I am so tired of being lonely, that I bounced around from shop to shop just to have people and noise around me. It's ironic, in Albania I used to go to shopping centers to hide, and find solitude, in Durban I do the opposite.
When preparing to go into ministry or mission work, no one tells you about the loneliness, and other factors you will face. Well few speak of these things. They might touch on it by mentioning the scripture from Matthew 19 about being rewarded for giving up mother/father/family/house/brother/sister etc. But do we adequately prepared the missionary for the life they must lay down and leave behind? There are some organisations/churches that do . . .but many fall short in this area.
For those who have not been long term missionaries it is difficult to know what it is like, because you haven't experienced it. There for you are not fully equipped either to be a support for the missionaries. I guess that is one reason I am writing about it tonight, so that it starts to create an awareness where perhaps there wasn't one before.
I remember the beginning days of going full time on the mission field. It was in Albania, a place I had visited many times for 3 months at a time. A place where I had established friendships and learnt the culture etc. . . but that did not prepare me for the shock of how different full time was. How isolating it was in the beginning. Being immersed in a different culture, language and people group. I was also doing it as a single missionary without a team, it was incredibly isolating.
I remember one day being on a bus surrounded by locals. I remember all to well being the outsider, the foreigner. I realized in that moment that even if i dressed like them, spoke like them and dyed my blonde hair dark, it wouldn't matter. I was not them. I would always be the outsider. It was exceptionally difficult. But you push in and you push on, and you feel a bit like you are in a foster care system because this isn't the family/culture/spiritual family you know. You feel like you are cut from a different DNA. . . but this is where you are called? these are the people you love. For 6 years you fit your life into theirs, drowning out the voice of homesickness. Suppressing you own culture to adapt. You forge a life and friendships here. You live to the fullest until its time to come home . . .
But home is no longer home. Home carried on without you. You step back into the familiar but as a stranger. New faces don't know you, and old faces remember you but are also not used to having you around. So its easy for them to forget you are back, unless they see you. And the loneliness starts all over again. But this time it seems harder, because its the place you should belong because its where you came from. You can't just slot back in, because you have been gone for so long [and often cause you need rest]. Home is not equipped to help you in your transition anymore than you are equipped to go through this transition. So many familiar faces, with fond emotional attachment because of shared memories but this doesn't equate to current/present relationships.
Ministry and Missionary work is tough, its not for the fainthearted. To many leadership books justify or pacify this. They teach that a leader, because of his character and calling, wont [shouldn't have many friends] etc. How does this coincide with the life of Jesus or the fact that God created us for relationship? Missionaries are similar. Often your relationships are founded in ministry. there were times i longed for people i could just hang out with, people who didn't want me to do something for them or with them for the Kingdom. People who just wanted to be with me . . . just cause.
I still don't believe that is God's best or His true model. I believe its a lie we coated with a spiritual veneer to make ourselves believe that loneliness is godliness. to justify and silence our desire. i don't believe its truth though, and like all veneer, given enough time, the cracks will show.
And when you visit home, as a full time ministry, you too don't see how truly harsh and different moving back home will be. Because when you visit home, its like the proverbial 15 minutes of fame. People know time is short, so they make the effort cause they wont see you again, but also there is always ministry....feedback and preaching and prayer meetings etc. Because its like a resource passing through town. . . Coming Home, just like going full time after short term, is vastly different. The church, the culture, even your family, are not designed to deal with this.
Add to the equation that not only did I come home, but I came home AND out of ministry, its a whole different ball game. Because since i was 15 until i was almost 35 my entire life was geared towards ministry and I was involved in ministry.
Life is different now. I had changed, living in a different culture shaved off my rough corners. The problem is i was once a square peg in a square hole, now i have come back as a circle. The heart, the essence of me, is still the same, but some of my edges have worn down, and i just don't fit back as i once did.
It's easy to point fingers or pass blame or ask questions . . . the truth is there are no easy answers.
I don't write this as one looking for sympathy. i don't write this as one who didn't try reconnect either . . . but when most people turn down invitations time after time after time or 8 months later still haven't made good on the plans to connect, you eventually stop trying. As I said its easy to understand that you haven't been in their lives for 6 years, so its a new adjustment for them as well as yourself trying to reconnect, and life here is busy, there life has been here, involved for 6 years. It doesn't make transition easier.
So that means you have your bad days. Just like when you first moved into full time missionary work there were bad days, lonely days, isolating days. . . Just like the locals there didn't know what to do with you or how to help you settle in, the same applies to home. . . except now its no longer home.
I guess one way would be to stop viewing it as home and to view it as a new destination, starting from scratch, except that memories and faded bonds make that difficult too.
All I know is that I blindly follow Him, for He has eyes to see, He knows the begin from the end. He can make the path straight. He has knitted me in before, and He can do it again. He promises to give back what we give up. So to other missionaries struggling to adjust to a new world, or readjust to their old world . . . take heart. Yes transition is difficult, and tough and lonely. Yes, as a missionary wandering this planet of ours you often feel like a round peg in a square hole, like the pieces just don't fit, and like you have no true home . . . But hang in there. You are not alone. Other missionaries have had the same experiences. . .and Christ truly is your Emanuel. He is God with you. He has also promised to give back what you give up, including relationships . . . it just takes time sometimes.
For those who know missionaries pray for them. Ask God for relationships for them. Understand it is a lonely place for them. It hasn't just cost them financially, they have literally given up everything, including relationships and to a degree who they are, where they came from, for the sake of the gospel. . . don't let them become an out-of-sight-out-of-mind cliche. Reach out to them. Encourage them. Find out how you can be supportive of them. And to my fellow ex-missionaries, current missionaries, ex ministers and ministers. . . be real about the struggles and hardships, not just the persecutions and the triumphs. . . but the reality of what it has cost. People can't be supportive in your struggles if they don't know what they are.
I want my blog to be true to life, not just sunshine and marshmallows and happy thoughts. I don't want to hide my bad days, I have spent to many years doing just that, for the sake of appearance. So I decided to be honest about today.
It was so lonely, and I am so tired of being lonely, that I bounced around from shop to shop just to have people and noise around me. It's ironic, in Albania I used to go to shopping centers to hide, and find solitude, in Durban I do the opposite.
When preparing to go into ministry or mission work, no one tells you about the loneliness, and other factors you will face. Well few speak of these things. They might touch on it by mentioning the scripture from Matthew 19 about being rewarded for giving up mother/father/family/house/brother/sister etc. But do we adequately prepared the missionary for the life they must lay down and leave behind? There are some organisations/churches that do . . .but many fall short in this area.
For those who have not been long term missionaries it is difficult to know what it is like, because you haven't experienced it. There for you are not fully equipped either to be a support for the missionaries. I guess that is one reason I am writing about it tonight, so that it starts to create an awareness where perhaps there wasn't one before.
I remember the beginning days of going full time on the mission field. It was in Albania, a place I had visited many times for 3 months at a time. A place where I had established friendships and learnt the culture etc. . . but that did not prepare me for the shock of how different full time was. How isolating it was in the beginning. Being immersed in a different culture, language and people group. I was also doing it as a single missionary without a team, it was incredibly isolating.
I remember one day being on a bus surrounded by locals. I remember all to well being the outsider, the foreigner. I realized in that moment that even if i dressed like them, spoke like them and dyed my blonde hair dark, it wouldn't matter. I was not them. I would always be the outsider. It was exceptionally difficult. But you push in and you push on, and you feel a bit like you are in a foster care system because this isn't the family/culture/spiritual family you know. You feel like you are cut from a different DNA. . . but this is where you are called? these are the people you love. For 6 years you fit your life into theirs, drowning out the voice of homesickness. Suppressing you own culture to adapt. You forge a life and friendships here. You live to the fullest until its time to come home . . .
But home is no longer home. Home carried on without you. You step back into the familiar but as a stranger. New faces don't know you, and old faces remember you but are also not used to having you around. So its easy for them to forget you are back, unless they see you. And the loneliness starts all over again. But this time it seems harder, because its the place you should belong because its where you came from. You can't just slot back in, because you have been gone for so long [and often cause you need rest]. Home is not equipped to help you in your transition anymore than you are equipped to go through this transition. So many familiar faces, with fond emotional attachment because of shared memories but this doesn't equate to current/present relationships.
Ministry and Missionary work is tough, its not for the fainthearted. To many leadership books justify or pacify this. They teach that a leader, because of his character and calling, wont [shouldn't have many friends] etc. How does this coincide with the life of Jesus or the fact that God created us for relationship? Missionaries are similar. Often your relationships are founded in ministry. there were times i longed for people i could just hang out with, people who didn't want me to do something for them or with them for the Kingdom. People who just wanted to be with me . . . just cause.
I still don't believe that is God's best or His true model. I believe its a lie we coated with a spiritual veneer to make ourselves believe that loneliness is godliness. to justify and silence our desire. i don't believe its truth though, and like all veneer, given enough time, the cracks will show.
And when you visit home, as a full time ministry, you too don't see how truly harsh and different moving back home will be. Because when you visit home, its like the proverbial 15 minutes of fame. People know time is short, so they make the effort cause they wont see you again, but also there is always ministry....feedback and preaching and prayer meetings etc. Because its like a resource passing through town. . . Coming Home, just like going full time after short term, is vastly different. The church, the culture, even your family, are not designed to deal with this.
Add to the equation that not only did I come home, but I came home AND out of ministry, its a whole different ball game. Because since i was 15 until i was almost 35 my entire life was geared towards ministry and I was involved in ministry.
Life is different now. I had changed, living in a different culture shaved off my rough corners. The problem is i was once a square peg in a square hole, now i have come back as a circle. The heart, the essence of me, is still the same, but some of my edges have worn down, and i just don't fit back as i once did.
It's easy to point fingers or pass blame or ask questions . . . the truth is there are no easy answers.
I don't write this as one looking for sympathy. i don't write this as one who didn't try reconnect either . . . but when most people turn down invitations time after time after time or 8 months later still haven't made good on the plans to connect, you eventually stop trying. As I said its easy to understand that you haven't been in their lives for 6 years, so its a new adjustment for them as well as yourself trying to reconnect, and life here is busy, there life has been here, involved for 6 years. It doesn't make transition easier.
So that means you have your bad days. Just like when you first moved into full time missionary work there were bad days, lonely days, isolating days. . . Just like the locals there didn't know what to do with you or how to help you settle in, the same applies to home. . . except now its no longer home.
I guess one way would be to stop viewing it as home and to view it as a new destination, starting from scratch, except that memories and faded bonds make that difficult too.
All I know is that I blindly follow Him, for He has eyes to see, He knows the begin from the end. He can make the path straight. He has knitted me in before, and He can do it again. He promises to give back what we give up. So to other missionaries struggling to adjust to a new world, or readjust to their old world . . . take heart. Yes transition is difficult, and tough and lonely. Yes, as a missionary wandering this planet of ours you often feel like a round peg in a square hole, like the pieces just don't fit, and like you have no true home . . . But hang in there. You are not alone. Other missionaries have had the same experiences. . .and Christ truly is your Emanuel. He is God with you. He has also promised to give back what you give up, including relationships . . . it just takes time sometimes.
For those who know missionaries pray for them. Ask God for relationships for them. Understand it is a lonely place for them. It hasn't just cost them financially, they have literally given up everything, including relationships and to a degree who they are, where they came from, for the sake of the gospel. . . don't let them become an out-of-sight-out-of-mind cliche. Reach out to them. Encourage them. Find out how you can be supportive of them. And to my fellow ex-missionaries, current missionaries, ex ministers and ministers. . . be real about the struggles and hardships, not just the persecutions and the triumphs. . . but the reality of what it has cost. People can't be supportive in your struggles if they don't know what they are.
Friday, July 22, 2016
It Aint Over Till You Give Up.
In my morning devotions, working through the gospel of Matthew, I am finally nearing the Crucifixion. Today I was reading about the arrest. . . but something really stood out to me. It was how ALL the disciples failed big time. One betrayed Jesus, one denied Jesus 3 times, but all left Jesus in His hour of need.
Matthew 26: 56 says ...
every single one of them!
in fact if you read the account in Mark, you can see how full of fear the disciples were. The one was only in a long shirt, when the mob grabbed at him, he left his shirt behind and ran away naked. Now you got to be really scared to do that.
They knew Jesus. They knew his power. They knew His promises. They knew His abilities. He had prewarned them of His death and resurection. But in this great moment, all that faith that had been developing suddenly dissipated and they hit the road running.
For some of us, when we turn away, turn back or fall, we see it as failure. Imagine how heartsore Peter must have been after denying Christ 3 times. He must have felt terrible, and possibly hated himself or carried a burden of guilt. We all do. We all miss the mark sometimes. but i noticed one difference among them.
1 didn't just fail, but he gave up completely. He eventually took his own life. its interesting to note that this happened before the crucifixion and resurection. the rest failed, but knew the love of Christ, and somehow reminded themselves [poetic licence] of his promises and the hope in him. . . they held on through the darkest however, even though they initally ran away and failed. They didnt give up completely. They saw the worst, followed by the most triumphant victory in History. And they were all restored.
We will all fail. . . but will we cling to hope and be raised up in Christ again, or will be give up completely and let our failure become permanent?
Matthew 26: 56 says ...
At that point, all the disciples deserted him and fled.
note the word ALL!every single one of them!
in fact if you read the account in Mark, you can see how full of fear the disciples were. The one was only in a long shirt, when the mob grabbed at him, he left his shirt behind and ran away naked. Now you got to be really scared to do that.
They knew Jesus. They knew his power. They knew His promises. They knew His abilities. He had prewarned them of His death and resurection. But in this great moment, all that faith that had been developing suddenly dissipated and they hit the road running.
For some of us, when we turn away, turn back or fall, we see it as failure. Imagine how heartsore Peter must have been after denying Christ 3 times. He must have felt terrible, and possibly hated himself or carried a burden of guilt. We all do. We all miss the mark sometimes. but i noticed one difference among them.
1 didn't just fail, but he gave up completely. He eventually took his own life. its interesting to note that this happened before the crucifixion and resurection. the rest failed, but knew the love of Christ, and somehow reminded themselves [poetic licence] of his promises and the hope in him. . . they held on through the darkest however, even though they initally ran away and failed. They didnt give up completely. They saw the worst, followed by the most triumphant victory in History. And they were all restored.
We will all fail. . . but will we cling to hope and be raised up in Christ again, or will be give up completely and let our failure become permanent?
Thursday, July 21, 2016
The Logic is not strong with this one
I have to confess, I LOVE LOGIC!
I am addicted to Logic.
If there was such a thing as a logic nerd, that would be me.
I have a knack for looking at some situations and seeing how truly illogical they are, and for problem solving other people's issue with good logic. . . now that doesn't mean I necessarily have a talent at applying the same logic to my own life, but perhaps that is a topic for another day. *cringe*
In South Africa we have a logo that is attached to things that are made in South Africa or originate in South Africa. The label says "Proudly South African." This will give you an example of the way my brain works in the area of logic.
There are two brands in particular that I can think of off the top of my head [many more if I took some time to consider it]. But they defy logic in the area of advertising. Both brands are "proudly South African," The one is a franchise of restaurants who's entire decor and them is based around American Indian, yet are proudly South African. The other is a condiment that is also proud South Africa yet made the traditional french way.
Go Figure.
No logic there whatsoever.
Then there are the occasional people who defy logic. I have heard of/seen or encountered at least 3 in the last 24 hours.
The person who lay their bicycle flat on the ground in line with my reversing car. In my car's blindspot. They saw me reversing, and still lay the bicycle flat on the ground behind me. Thankfully they had a moment when logic reappeared, followed by them exercising the vocal chords and arm muscles as they shouted and waved their arms at me in desperation.
Another person, proudly taking diet supplements [not the good kind either - first problem in this story]. Comes home having eaten two burgers and fries on their way home from work, deposits the empty containers in the bin. sits for less than half an hour before getting up and dishing up a full portion of dinner. That's two full meals in under 2 hours. . . one of which was not a health meal . . . yet still hoping the diet pills will work . . . somehow I don't think those pills will be as effective as one hopes. its illogical to pop a diet pill and chase it down with 2 big burgers. [or so i think]
Illogical number 3. a person moaning on social media about a snatch and grab. This person was driving down the road talking on their cellphone with their window open. Let me point out a few facts. This particular road has always been known as a hot spot for theft. It is also currently under construction, and has been for over a year. This construction has caused traffic to move at a snails pace or come to a complete stop frequently, and has thus made it an even easier crime area. One that is frequently warned against. It is also illegal to talk on your phone while driving, unless using a hands free kit. so if the phone is to your ear, and the window is down while driving in a known crime area, there is a strong chance it will be taken off of you. I do have sympathy for the victim, of course, it is traumatic to go through any type of crime. . . but i beg to ask where the wisdom was in the situation? and also the logic . . . to complain about a crime that occurred whilst you were also breaking the law?
I am not judging, because as I already mentioned I too have moments where logic is not strong evident in my own life. It is almost a daily occurrence. Welcome to the human race. But i realized that when we have those weak moments where logic evades us, we can be grateful for a fail safe. . . because God promises to give wisdom to those who ask, without finding fault. James 1: 5
I can hear myself exhale loudly at that ... THANK GOD....there is hope for me. all we have to do is ask.
Also I realized that as much of a strength logic can be, it can also be a curse. . . because it causes me to hunger to understand and devour details and dissect them and over analyse. . . and i do truly need to take a moment and remember that i am not called to understand everything, sometimes i am simply called to obey, and to trust in the One who does know everything, including the beginning from the end. To make peace with the fact that because His ways are not my ways and His thoughts are higher than my thoughts, most of the time it is going to seem illogical to me. [Isaiah 55]
I am addicted to Logic.
If there was such a thing as a logic nerd, that would be me.
I have a knack for looking at some situations and seeing how truly illogical they are, and for problem solving other people's issue with good logic. . . now that doesn't mean I necessarily have a talent at applying the same logic to my own life, but perhaps that is a topic for another day. *cringe*
In South Africa we have a logo that is attached to things that are made in South Africa or originate in South Africa. The label says "Proudly South African." This will give you an example of the way my brain works in the area of logic.
There are two brands in particular that I can think of off the top of my head [many more if I took some time to consider it]. But they defy logic in the area of advertising. Both brands are "proudly South African," The one is a franchise of restaurants who's entire decor and them is based around American Indian, yet are proudly South African. The other is a condiment that is also proud South Africa yet made the traditional french way.
Go Figure.
No logic there whatsoever.
Then there are the occasional people who defy logic. I have heard of/seen or encountered at least 3 in the last 24 hours.
The person who lay their bicycle flat on the ground in line with my reversing car. In my car's blindspot. They saw me reversing, and still lay the bicycle flat on the ground behind me. Thankfully they had a moment when logic reappeared, followed by them exercising the vocal chords and arm muscles as they shouted and waved their arms at me in desperation.
Another person, proudly taking diet supplements [not the good kind either - first problem in this story]. Comes home having eaten two burgers and fries on their way home from work, deposits the empty containers in the bin. sits for less than half an hour before getting up and dishing up a full portion of dinner. That's two full meals in under 2 hours. . . one of which was not a health meal . . . yet still hoping the diet pills will work . . . somehow I don't think those pills will be as effective as one hopes. its illogical to pop a diet pill and chase it down with 2 big burgers. [or so i think]
Illogical number 3. a person moaning on social media about a snatch and grab. This person was driving down the road talking on their cellphone with their window open. Let me point out a few facts. This particular road has always been known as a hot spot for theft. It is also currently under construction, and has been for over a year. This construction has caused traffic to move at a snails pace or come to a complete stop frequently, and has thus made it an even easier crime area. One that is frequently warned against. It is also illegal to talk on your phone while driving, unless using a hands free kit. so if the phone is to your ear, and the window is down while driving in a known crime area, there is a strong chance it will be taken off of you. I do have sympathy for the victim, of course, it is traumatic to go through any type of crime. . . but i beg to ask where the wisdom was in the situation? and also the logic . . . to complain about a crime that occurred whilst you were also breaking the law?
I am not judging, because as I already mentioned I too have moments where logic is not strong evident in my own life. It is almost a daily occurrence. Welcome to the human race. But i realized that when we have those weak moments where logic evades us, we can be grateful for a fail safe. . . because God promises to give wisdom to those who ask, without finding fault. James 1: 5
I can hear myself exhale loudly at that ... THANK GOD....there is hope for me. all we have to do is ask.
Also I realized that as much of a strength logic can be, it can also be a curse. . . because it causes me to hunger to understand and devour details and dissect them and over analyse. . . and i do truly need to take a moment and remember that i am not called to understand everything, sometimes i am simply called to obey, and to trust in the One who does know everything, including the beginning from the end. To make peace with the fact that because His ways are not my ways and His thoughts are higher than my thoughts, most of the time it is going to seem illogical to me. [Isaiah 55]
Wednesday, July 20, 2016
and your response will be.....?!?
Have you ever read a scripture more times than you can count, plus heard a million stories and sermons on it, and then one day, you read it and you go, "Huh, never noticed that before."
Today was one of those days. Now I am sure a million people have seen this before me, because it is glaringly obvious and not hidden in anyway. But somehow getting caught in the other details of the story made me overlook this.
I was reading the parable of the talents in Matthew 25. and I came across verse 15. I will put into italics what suddenly dawned on me.
He gave five talents to one slave, two to the next, and then one talent to the last slave—each according to his ability. Then the man left.
Do you see that? In this parable it is clearly noted that each of the 3 servants were ONLY given what they could handle, according to their ability. The Ruler/King was not unjust or unfair. He did not give them more than they could handle and then chastise them when they didn't produce. On the contrary! It is like he examined each one as an individual, determined their ability and decided, "if i give them this, i know they will be able to do something with it. And if they are faithful with their ability then i can reward them. WIN WIN situation."
It is like the ruler's intention was to reward and increase, not punish and chastise. Like His entire purpose in this wasn't to increase His own gain, but the gain and responsibility of the servants because HE knew what they were capable of and wanted the best and more for each one.
Perhaps that is why the response to the one who hid the money is so strong. Not because He hadn't increased the talent, but maybe [poetic interpretation] because he had doubted his own ability and the master's intentions? not saying it is doctrine, just a thought and an opinion. The master didn't seem short on wealth, especially not if he was handing it to servants to look after. So there had to be more to the reaction than lack of increase. He also wasn't moved by the servant's excuse or reason.
That servant had every chance and opportunity to increase and grow. The master wasn't unfair or harsh, as the servant had misjudged, on the contrary the master had given them only what they needed to succeed. But the servant out of laziness or fear or insecurity or [insert any other excuse] drew back and didn't even try.
its so illogical. it is like that lazy servant walked away from a guaranteed win "just in case". So now take a moment, look at your life, at what God has given you? what God has called you to? We all struggle from time to time. . . but know this, He has given it to you because HE KNOWS THAT YOU CAN DO IT! He is fully convinced and has entrusted this to you. [whatever this may be, your job/ministry/partner/kids/talent etc].
So what is your response? because the only thing that was different amongst the 3 servants, wasn't the master but the servant's response. the difference between failure and success was obedience and disobedience. The servants decision about what they would do with what God entrusted to them. Stop listening to the voice of doubt, instead listen to the ONE who has faith in you.
so what will your response be? for your response will determine your outcome.
Today was one of those days. Now I am sure a million people have seen this before me, because it is glaringly obvious and not hidden in anyway. But somehow getting caught in the other details of the story made me overlook this.
I was reading the parable of the talents in Matthew 25. and I came across verse 15. I will put into italics what suddenly dawned on me.
He gave five talents to one slave, two to the next, and then one talent to the last slave—each according to his ability. Then the man left.
Do you see that? In this parable it is clearly noted that each of the 3 servants were ONLY given what they could handle, according to their ability. The Ruler/King was not unjust or unfair. He did not give them more than they could handle and then chastise them when they didn't produce. On the contrary! It is like he examined each one as an individual, determined their ability and decided, "if i give them this, i know they will be able to do something with it. And if they are faithful with their ability then i can reward them. WIN WIN situation."
It is like the ruler's intention was to reward and increase, not punish and chastise. Like His entire purpose in this wasn't to increase His own gain, but the gain and responsibility of the servants because HE knew what they were capable of and wanted the best and more for each one.
Perhaps that is why the response to the one who hid the money is so strong. Not because He hadn't increased the talent, but maybe [poetic interpretation] because he had doubted his own ability and the master's intentions? not saying it is doctrine, just a thought and an opinion. The master didn't seem short on wealth, especially not if he was handing it to servants to look after. So there had to be more to the reaction than lack of increase. He also wasn't moved by the servant's excuse or reason.
That servant had every chance and opportunity to increase and grow. The master wasn't unfair or harsh, as the servant had misjudged, on the contrary the master had given them only what they needed to succeed. But the servant out of laziness or fear or insecurity or [insert any other excuse] drew back and didn't even try.
its so illogical. it is like that lazy servant walked away from a guaranteed win "just in case". So now take a moment, look at your life, at what God has given you? what God has called you to? We all struggle from time to time. . . but know this, He has given it to you because HE KNOWS THAT YOU CAN DO IT! He is fully convinced and has entrusted this to you. [whatever this may be, your job/ministry/partner/kids/talent etc].
So what is your response? because the only thing that was different amongst the 3 servants, wasn't the master but the servant's response. the difference between failure and success was obedience and disobedience. The servants decision about what they would do with what God entrusted to them. Stop listening to the voice of doubt, instead listen to the ONE who has faith in you.
so what will your response be? for your response will determine your outcome.
Tuesday, July 19, 2016
The DreaDeD "D" word.
Let me tell you how my Day goes, grumble my way out of beD, jealous of the cat who is still curlDeD up asleep. Stumble to make some coffee. Dilly Dally and Delay getting reaDy, until I am forceD to rush or else I will be late. Try remain calm as i Drive among Disrespectful Dorks. Get to work, and get into the groove of things. 11:45am my stomach reminds me that lunch will soon be serveD, anD my energy levels are slowly Decreasing. Munch Munch Munch. That was gooD lunch. Energy Spikes. I stretch, notice my neck is tense, and Declare "I must Do some stretching when I get home. Yeah. I am Definitely going to put in a pilates session." The Day progresses, I hit the afternoon slump, usually perked slightly by a cuppa coffee. By the time I get home, the only stretching that occurs is my boDy across the couch, as i zone out, minDlessly watching tv.
SounDs riveting Doesn't it? So not every Day is like this, but many Days Do resemble this format. What I Don't unDerstanD about myself is why i grumble in the mornings, firstly i Do get enough sleep. seconDly i actually really enjoy my job. It's like an inbuilt mechanism, or perhaps....habit?
You see, a lot of us have many Desires, Dreams, iDeas or goals. We can DayDream endlessly about these things, but seldom see them come to fruition. We might even enter into Debates and Discussions or go as far as Drafting a plan. But Do we ever take action?
Most of the time it Doesnt progress further because too many of us are scared of or Dislike that DreaDeD "D" word.
DISCIPLINE.
It's almost worse than those 4 letter worDs that mom useD to wash my mouth out with soap if I saiD them.
but honestly, many things in life are achievable, yes, of course with Christ, but also with a bit of Discipline. Many people without Christ are achieving great things. And many Christians are sitting with nothing but Dreams because they are still waiting for Christ to Do it for them. He has given you a WILL to use, and make Decisions and be Disciplined. He will work in and through you, ie you also got a role.
And no, it wont be easy. And yes it takes perseverance. I can honestly say there are countless times, in my commitment to write 77 Blogs in a row, that i have wanteD to miss a Day because I am tireD or sick or can't think up a topic. But if i want to grow in my writing, to fulfill the Dream of one Day publishing a book, then I neeD more than just gifting and annointing, I also neeD a bit of Disipline. I neeD to be faithful with what GoD has given me.
Not easy, but Doable.
Again it Doesn't have to start out with a big impossible commitment, set a small goal, and start applying a little Discipline into your life, and take that first step on the roaD towards your Dream.
SounDs riveting Doesn't it? So not every Day is like this, but many Days Do resemble this format. What I Don't unDerstanD about myself is why i grumble in the mornings, firstly i Do get enough sleep. seconDly i actually really enjoy my job. It's like an inbuilt mechanism, or perhaps....habit?
You see, a lot of us have many Desires, Dreams, iDeas or goals. We can DayDream endlessly about these things, but seldom see them come to fruition. We might even enter into Debates and Discussions or go as far as Drafting a plan. But Do we ever take action?
Most of the time it Doesnt progress further because too many of us are scared of or Dislike that DreaDeD "D" word.
DISCIPLINE.
It's almost worse than those 4 letter worDs that mom useD to wash my mouth out with soap if I saiD them.
but honestly, many things in life are achievable, yes, of course with Christ, but also with a bit of Discipline. Many people without Christ are achieving great things. And many Christians are sitting with nothing but Dreams because they are still waiting for Christ to Do it for them. He has given you a WILL to use, and make Decisions and be Disciplined. He will work in and through you, ie you also got a role.
And no, it wont be easy. And yes it takes perseverance. I can honestly say there are countless times, in my commitment to write 77 Blogs in a row, that i have wanteD to miss a Day because I am tireD or sick or can't think up a topic. But if i want to grow in my writing, to fulfill the Dream of one Day publishing a book, then I neeD more than just gifting and annointing, I also neeD a bit of Disipline. I neeD to be faithful with what GoD has given me.
Not easy, but Doable.
Again it Doesn't have to start out with a big impossible commitment, set a small goal, and start applying a little Discipline into your life, and take that first step on the roaD towards your Dream.
Monday, July 18, 2016
*flush*
To those of you who truly know me, I know that you have been wondering how long till I take this blog to the toilet....today is the day.
For those who struggle with toilet humor or discussing toilets, I can safely say that you are probably not related to me or my family, and that you can stop reading tonight's blog now.
So why today? Why have I chosen to take it to the toilet today? because truthfully that is all I have done, for most of today....taken it to the toilet. Man, I woke up with a not so pleasant rumbling in my tummy, followed by a sharp pain and a 50 meter dash, whilst tripping over the cat and rubbing sleep from my eyes. nothing like diarrhea to get you up and running.
I grew up in a family where grandpa's/uncles asked you to pull their finger, followed by them farting when you did. Big brother taught me songs about the runs as we sat in the car.It wasn't taboo to us. In our household you called it what it was, [even if you were blaming the cat]... we farted, we didn't bubble or pass wind. . . nope a fart was a fart.
I also think that I have earned the right to talk about toilets because as a missionary I have experienced a vast array of them, from the good to the extremely please-dont-let-me-die-in-here type bad ones. I have earned my stripes and wear them proudly. For real, some toilets were so bad that you would rather drop a squat in the bush than use the available loo. it just happens that way sometimes. I have also seen ridiculously funny things in bathrooms. like footprints on toilet seats of a western toilet, in a country more acquainted with using eastern [hole in the ground] toilets. . .Or western toilet users peering down at eastern toilets trying to figure out which way to face. so many funny stories that i could share.
We all go to the bathroom, its part of life. Whether you saying you are going "to spend a penny" or "pee" or "make a number two" or "Talk on the phone" or "take a dump" . the metaphors are endless. . . our bodies need us to rid ourselves of certain toxins and well...crap.. . rubbish...poop.
I was talking to my boss on the phone this morning about not feeling so great because i felt like all my insides had fallen outside, as i flushed my world down the loo. She was sweet and supportive and recommended that i pop downstairs to the pharmacy and buy something to stop the runs. instinctively i said no.
Don't get me wrong. i don't like the runs. And the quicker I can be done with them the better. But . . . if its a virus or bug causing this, I aint taking meds to stop me running and there by lock that virus in my body for longer. nope, no way. no how. that thing must run its course, literally. . . .and get out. what doesn't pay rent must get out, a wise man often told me.....
how about our lives? maybe some of us need a bit of an emotional enema to get rid of some of the junk we been holding on to, so that we can stop having it eat at our insides and cause emotional bloating etc. Even in Nehemiah when they were repairing the wall, and its gates, for the city. Nehemiah made sure that the Dung Gate was repaired. He knew the importance of having a designated time and place for waste removal. a build up of poop is not just disgusting but brings about decay and disease and death. . . yes even emotional poop will do this not just to your soul and spirit but also your physical body.
Maybe its time for a bit of a clean out, its not healthy to keep it all in there, and besides its a quick way to loose some unwanted weight. [not literally - figuratively - all that burden and stress that we pile on with holding onto hurts and un-forgiveness and sin and rubbish...you dont need to be lugging that around with you all day everyday].
and one more thing before i leave, having finally given in and written about the toilet. . . let me add some humor. . . in Afrikaans the word for specimen is written as "monster". so being bilingual and having many bilingual patients, often this sentence is said to me in a day.
"Here is your pee pee monster".
finished.
Me; rolling on the floor. crying. with laughter.
She said "pee pee monster".
it never gets old. No i wont grow up.
AND now [previous homegroup of mine] I still maintain I was not the first in our group to always take the conversation down hill.... i merely joined the rest of you, so as not to be left out.
For those who struggle with toilet humor or discussing toilets, I can safely say that you are probably not related to me or my family, and that you can stop reading tonight's blog now.
So why today? Why have I chosen to take it to the toilet today? because truthfully that is all I have done, for most of today....taken it to the toilet. Man, I woke up with a not so pleasant rumbling in my tummy, followed by a sharp pain and a 50 meter dash, whilst tripping over the cat and rubbing sleep from my eyes. nothing like diarrhea to get you up and running.
I grew up in a family where grandpa's/uncles asked you to pull their finger, followed by them farting when you did. Big brother taught me songs about the runs as we sat in the car.It wasn't taboo to us. In our household you called it what it was, [even if you were blaming the cat]... we farted, we didn't bubble or pass wind. . . nope a fart was a fart.
I also think that I have earned the right to talk about toilets because as a missionary I have experienced a vast array of them, from the good to the extremely please-dont-let-me-die-in-here type bad ones. I have earned my stripes and wear them proudly. For real, some toilets were so bad that you would rather drop a squat in the bush than use the available loo. it just happens that way sometimes. I have also seen ridiculously funny things in bathrooms. like footprints on toilet seats of a western toilet, in a country more acquainted with using eastern [hole in the ground] toilets. . .Or western toilet users peering down at eastern toilets trying to figure out which way to face. so many funny stories that i could share.
We all go to the bathroom, its part of life. Whether you saying you are going "to spend a penny" or "pee" or "make a number two" or "Talk on the phone" or "take a dump" . the metaphors are endless. . . our bodies need us to rid ourselves of certain toxins and well...crap.. . rubbish...poop.
I was talking to my boss on the phone this morning about not feeling so great because i felt like all my insides had fallen outside, as i flushed my world down the loo. She was sweet and supportive and recommended that i pop downstairs to the pharmacy and buy something to stop the runs. instinctively i said no.
Don't get me wrong. i don't like the runs. And the quicker I can be done with them the better. But . . . if its a virus or bug causing this, I aint taking meds to stop me running and there by lock that virus in my body for longer. nope, no way. no how. that thing must run its course, literally. . . .and get out. what doesn't pay rent must get out, a wise man often told me.....
how about our lives? maybe some of us need a bit of an emotional enema to get rid of some of the junk we been holding on to, so that we can stop having it eat at our insides and cause emotional bloating etc. Even in Nehemiah when they were repairing the wall, and its gates, for the city. Nehemiah made sure that the Dung Gate was repaired. He knew the importance of having a designated time and place for waste removal. a build up of poop is not just disgusting but brings about decay and disease and death. . . yes even emotional poop will do this not just to your soul and spirit but also your physical body.
Maybe its time for a bit of a clean out, its not healthy to keep it all in there, and besides its a quick way to loose some unwanted weight. [not literally - figuratively - all that burden and stress that we pile on with holding onto hurts and un-forgiveness and sin and rubbish...you dont need to be lugging that around with you all day everyday].
and one more thing before i leave, having finally given in and written about the toilet. . . let me add some humor. . . in Afrikaans the word for specimen is written as "monster". so being bilingual and having many bilingual patients, often this sentence is said to me in a day.
"Here is your pee pee monster".
finished.
Me; rolling on the floor. crying. with laughter.
She said "pee pee monster".
it never gets old. No i wont grow up.
AND now [previous homegroup of mine] I still maintain I was not the first in our group to always take the conversation down hill.... i merely joined the rest of you, so as not to be left out.
Sunday, July 17, 2016
Squatters rights
We have an absurd situation sometimes in South Africa, I am not sure if it effects other parts of the world to. . . but here, if you can squat in a place long enough, your earn certain legal rights to stay on the premise on not be evicted. I know, I know it makes no logical sense, but it happens.
I remember many many years ago, before I moved to Albania, there were many illegal squatters in one area. The government gave them notice, then went in and bulldozed their makeshift homes flat. Finished. End of story. I remember many people having an outcry over it. and I am not here to get into that. [But on a side note, many times in these type situations in Albania, alternate accommodation is offered].
I was thinking along these squatter rights more in line with our personal lives and homes etc. How many of us let the things that shouldn't be there stay there, almost giving them rights and authority in our lives that they don't deserve. Or how many of us exercise our Christ given, blood bought, authority and serve them eviction notice and get them off our "land", figuratively.
I am reading an excellent book all about authority and specifically authority in prayer. Let me tell you, its building faith and encouraging me, and I can't wait for the day the reality is evident in my circumstances. You see, and we will all have these moments. I sit here reading about it and starting to exercise it and it feels a bit like this.
It feels a bit like a landlord who serves an eviction notice to a pesky tenant. The Landlord smiles as the tenant gets in the car, but a few hours later, the same tenant comes back, with a couch, to add to his furniture in the house. The good tenant sees the notice lying around, assumes its for them, and packs their bags and leaves. while the pesky tenant keeps loading in more and more furniture, as if they are settling in forever.
That is what it feels like. But just because it feels like that, and just because the circumstances haven't lined up with the authority of the eviction notice, doesn't mean the eviction notice has no weight or authority. It just means you need to keep on enforcing that authority and call in support if need be.
Don't give up. Keep on keeping on. You can do this, because we don't stand in our own authority. We stand in the authority of Christ.
You know what else is great about authority. If you understand it, and move in it, it pleases God. God and read Matthew 8. This officer came looking for healing for his child. He understood authority. He didn't have to drag Jesus all the way back to His home to see him pray for the child. He didn't have to see the healing first, the evidence of Christ's authority. No!
He understood authority, without yet seeing the evidence. and not only was the miracle received but Christ noted that he hadn't seen faith like that in all of Israel. Now that is a compliment. But also a key. Faith and authority clearly work hand in hand.
I remember many many years ago, before I moved to Albania, there were many illegal squatters in one area. The government gave them notice, then went in and bulldozed their makeshift homes flat. Finished. End of story. I remember many people having an outcry over it. and I am not here to get into that. [But on a side note, many times in these type situations in Albania, alternate accommodation is offered].
I was thinking along these squatter rights more in line with our personal lives and homes etc. How many of us let the things that shouldn't be there stay there, almost giving them rights and authority in our lives that they don't deserve. Or how many of us exercise our Christ given, blood bought, authority and serve them eviction notice and get them off our "land", figuratively.
I am reading an excellent book all about authority and specifically authority in prayer. Let me tell you, its building faith and encouraging me, and I can't wait for the day the reality is evident in my circumstances. You see, and we will all have these moments. I sit here reading about it and starting to exercise it and it feels a bit like this.
It feels a bit like a landlord who serves an eviction notice to a pesky tenant. The Landlord smiles as the tenant gets in the car, but a few hours later, the same tenant comes back, with a couch, to add to his furniture in the house. The good tenant sees the notice lying around, assumes its for them, and packs their bags and leaves. while the pesky tenant keeps loading in more and more furniture, as if they are settling in forever.
That is what it feels like. But just because it feels like that, and just because the circumstances haven't lined up with the authority of the eviction notice, doesn't mean the eviction notice has no weight or authority. It just means you need to keep on enforcing that authority and call in support if need be.
Don't give up. Keep on keeping on. You can do this, because we don't stand in our own authority. We stand in the authority of Christ.
You know what else is great about authority. If you understand it, and move in it, it pleases God. God and read Matthew 8. This officer came looking for healing for his child. He understood authority. He didn't have to drag Jesus all the way back to His home to see him pray for the child. He didn't have to see the healing first, the evidence of Christ's authority. No!
He understood authority, without yet seeing the evidence. and not only was the miracle received but Christ noted that he hadn't seen faith like that in all of Israel. Now that is a compliment. But also a key. Faith and authority clearly work hand in hand.
Saturday, July 16, 2016
The Power of ONE voice
I was thinking about John the Baptist recently. It suddenly occurred to me that in the natural he should not have had any influence or power or attraction.
Think about it. . .
- dirty, unwashed unkept prophet
- speaking an unpopular message [in that day]
- Eating a strange diet of insects
- Living in the wilderness.
Now does that sound attractive to anyone????
Anyone at all???
And yet people came in their droves to hear him speak. People wanted to not only be baptized by him but some even became his disciples.
He was the one chosen as the forerunner, the praise sinner, the proclaimer preparing the road for Christ.
Imagine being called, now this is pure poetic licence here, as we don't read much about him being called of God. But imagine God saying to him [fictionally] "You will be a prophet that not only turns the heart of the people back to me, angers rulers and kings, but also prepares the way of the messiah....so now go to the wilderness and start your mission."
The wilderness, where its hot and dusty and no one lives?
awkward.
But yes that was what happened. But yet this one man, this one voice, alone in a wilderness in obedience was so anointed that it drew crowds to him, despite his appearance and the harsh conditions. And yes it angers the religious leaders and kings. But it didnt just anger the kings, it made them fear his influence.
Sometimes what we look like, and where we are situated is not important. If we are called, God is bigger than the other factors, we just have to obey and let our voice be heard speaking His truth in love.
Don't underestimate our God and what He can do in and through you. Don't let anyone silence your voice.
Think about it. . .
- dirty, unwashed unkept prophet
- speaking an unpopular message [in that day]
- Eating a strange diet of insects
- Living in the wilderness.
Now does that sound attractive to anyone????
Anyone at all???
And yet people came in their droves to hear him speak. People wanted to not only be baptized by him but some even became his disciples.
He was the one chosen as the forerunner, the praise sinner, the proclaimer preparing the road for Christ.
Imagine being called, now this is pure poetic licence here, as we don't read much about him being called of God. But imagine God saying to him [fictionally] "You will be a prophet that not only turns the heart of the people back to me, angers rulers and kings, but also prepares the way of the messiah....so now go to the wilderness and start your mission."
The wilderness, where its hot and dusty and no one lives?
awkward.
But yes that was what happened. But yet this one man, this one voice, alone in a wilderness in obedience was so anointed that it drew crowds to him, despite his appearance and the harsh conditions. And yes it angers the religious leaders and kings. But it didnt just anger the kings, it made them fear his influence.
Sometimes what we look like, and where we are situated is not important. If we are called, God is bigger than the other factors, we just have to obey and let our voice be heard speaking His truth in love.
Don't underestimate our God and what He can do in and through you. Don't let anyone silence your voice.
Friday, July 15, 2016
Sometimes Will Power alone won't get you up the hill
I saw a comical thing when I was coming home from work today. I was driving my usual route, This includes a road with an incline toward an intersection. There was quite a queue of cars lined down from the intersection all waiting for their moment to cross. About half way up the incline, on the verge/pavement/sidewalk a taxi had pulled off and stopped. Now we are not talking about a yellow cab type taxi, we are talking about a mini bus/combi type.
It definitely wasn't a new taxi. I noticed that all the passengers were climbing out of the taxi. It was like a never ending stream of them, just when I thought surely there can't be anymore in there, another one would climb out. Seeing all the passengers exit, made me assume that their taxi had broken down. Then the passengers began to walk up the incline and cross over the intersection. At first I thought this was odd but then thought maybe they were more likely to catch a new ride at the 4 way stop.
Next thing their taxi pulls off the verge and back into the queue of cars, eventually drives up the incline and crosses over the intersection. As he starts his decent across the road, he pulls over and all his passengers get back in. I was in hysterics. Obviously the "burden" of passengers was too much for his taxi to carry up the hill. If that taxi could talk I can imagine it repeating the train's mantra "I think I can. I think I can. I think I can". but it couldn't. It had to unload the burden to make it to the top.
When you are trying to come up out of the valley and find your mountain top, I advise you to do the same. Don't try use your own strength and will power to get there. Because like the taxi I saw today, you can't. Will power is not enough to get you up the hill if you are carry a burden.
1 Peter 5:7 [The Voice translation]
Since God cares for you, let Him carry all your burdens and worries.
It definitely wasn't a new taxi. I noticed that all the passengers were climbing out of the taxi. It was like a never ending stream of them, just when I thought surely there can't be anymore in there, another one would climb out. Seeing all the passengers exit, made me assume that their taxi had broken down. Then the passengers began to walk up the incline and cross over the intersection. At first I thought this was odd but then thought maybe they were more likely to catch a new ride at the 4 way stop.
Next thing their taxi pulls off the verge and back into the queue of cars, eventually drives up the incline and crosses over the intersection. As he starts his decent across the road, he pulls over and all his passengers get back in. I was in hysterics. Obviously the "burden" of passengers was too much for his taxi to carry up the hill. If that taxi could talk I can imagine it repeating the train's mantra "I think I can. I think I can. I think I can". but it couldn't. It had to unload the burden to make it to the top.
When you are trying to come up out of the valley and find your mountain top, I advise you to do the same. Don't try use your own strength and will power to get there. Because like the taxi I saw today, you can't. Will power is not enough to get you up the hill if you are carry a burden.
1 Peter 5:7 [The Voice translation]
Since God cares for you, let Him carry all your burdens and worries.
Thursday, July 14, 2016
sometimes the small things are the big things.
Still thinking about how fortunate I am at the moment in how God is planning my weekend away. It's not the first time He has done this for me either. I am more appreciative than I could express. God truly has done wondrous things and been super generous in my life, from air-tickets to many other types of provision and blessing. But sometimes its the small thing, the tiny details that reveal the greatness of who He is. Those small things that cause a big shift in your heart and stay with you forever.
I remember one such incident. I was 18, and putting myself through bible college. Money was beyond super tight. I was at college in the day, waitressing at night and coaching sport in the afternoon when I could. I had recently cut off all my hair....from long and curly blonde i had gone short pixie cut.
I remember walking through a shopping mall one day, I was just browsing around, because I didnt have the money to spend. I was in a particular shop and was browsing through a big basket of hair clips. there was a large assortment of cute plastic clips that would have looked great in short hair. in particular there were two flower shaped, clips, one pink and one green. they were almost translucent and had a slight sparkle. [remember I was much younger and was overcoming my Goth days]. I remember picking them up and simply saying to God, "These are pretty" and putting them down again as I carried on browsing. I often did that, walked passed a pretty flower and would say to God, "that flower is pretty" etc.
My heart thought those clips were cute and I would have loved them. But i never prayed to have them, not even in my mind. It was a Friday, i left the mall and got ready to go to youth group. I was all the way on the other side of town. 90% of the youth lived on that side of town. I remember walking into Youth group and a girl came running to me. She said she had been in my neighborhood and was in my shopping mall. She walked passed a shop, something caught her eye and made her think of me. She then opened her hand and was holding the exact two clips I had seen earlier. She had a big smile on her face as she told me that God had prompted her to buy them for me.
It blew my mind then, and still does now. That God had done this even without me asking. It made me realize that His eye is always on me. There is a scripture I have read often, about God's eye being on us, but it actually means His loving eye, or looking on us in love. Moments like this, about small little plastic hairclips revealed His heart of love and made me understand my worth to Him a bit better.
Psalm 32:8 [ESV]
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
but now read it in the NIV [emphasis mine]
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.
I remember one such incident. I was 18, and putting myself through bible college. Money was beyond super tight. I was at college in the day, waitressing at night and coaching sport in the afternoon when I could. I had recently cut off all my hair....from long and curly blonde i had gone short pixie cut.
I remember walking through a shopping mall one day, I was just browsing around, because I didnt have the money to spend. I was in a particular shop and was browsing through a big basket of hair clips. there was a large assortment of cute plastic clips that would have looked great in short hair. in particular there were two flower shaped, clips, one pink and one green. they were almost translucent and had a slight sparkle. [remember I was much younger and was overcoming my Goth days]. I remember picking them up and simply saying to God, "These are pretty" and putting them down again as I carried on browsing. I often did that, walked passed a pretty flower and would say to God, "that flower is pretty" etc.
My heart thought those clips were cute and I would have loved them. But i never prayed to have them, not even in my mind. It was a Friday, i left the mall and got ready to go to youth group. I was all the way on the other side of town. 90% of the youth lived on that side of town. I remember walking into Youth group and a girl came running to me. She said she had been in my neighborhood and was in my shopping mall. She walked passed a shop, something caught her eye and made her think of me. She then opened her hand and was holding the exact two clips I had seen earlier. She had a big smile on her face as she told me that God had prompted her to buy them for me.
It blew my mind then, and still does now. That God had done this even without me asking. It made me realize that His eye is always on me. There is a scripture I have read often, about God's eye being on us, but it actually means His loving eye, or looking on us in love. Moments like this, about small little plastic hairclips revealed His heart of love and made me understand my worth to Him a bit better.
Psalm 32:8 [ESV]
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
but now read it in the NIV [emphasis mine]
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.
Wednesday, July 13, 2016
"But WHY?!?!?!?!"...."Well...why NOT?"
You ever have those moments where something happens [good or bad] and you have no clue as to why it happened? Tonight I am pondering about some of those [good] moments.
You see soon I will be enjoying something that I have longed for, and have watched God weave it together in a way that has left me a little curious and asking "but why?"... i am definitely not complaining, far from it. But sometimes I don't understand the generosity of God.
I am quite tired and am working in quite a stressful job. The job, itself i love. I really like my boss too. In fact the job is nothing short of a miracle and answer to prayer. Coming back from the mission field, then taking a break to recover and deal with PTSD, the reality of needing to get secular work loomed in the background. i remember in the end of June saying to God. "if its not ministry, and i have to go back into secular work for a while, the job i enjoyed the most was being a medical receptionist. But i would prefer to start in a new practice, so i am not filling someone else's shoes." Let me tell you that new medical practices are rare. I didn't here God laugh in response. I heard him simply say "September". i knew He was giving me rest time. i sent my cv to many places and had many interviews and seemed well liked. somehow i never landed the jobs. Then wise people would ask me, after an interview, "is it a new practice?" "is it medical?" "when is the start date" and it never lined up with my desire. that explains why i wasn't getting the jobs. This job miraculously opened up, with being interviewed middle of August and the start date was 1 September. My boss is great and its a new medical practice. it really is a God answer.
Being a new practice i had to make peace with a few things that weren't my ideal, but were temporary. 1] working Saturdays. 2] starting pay was lower than i originally wanted. 3] no real leave for at least the first year.
I was getting tired working Saturdays and a few months in my boss made a decision to end the practice being open on a Saturday. a few months in she also gave me a raise. I am tired at the moment and wanting just a small break to unwind. The problem is if i take time off she needs to be able to not have the rooms open on those days but only be available for emergencies. not ideal at the moment. But I asked the question anyway...aiming for a potential long weekend in August. a month after i asked the question she said yes....that was the first miracle.
Then i sat with a dilema...if i had time off and could go away. [a friend and i were planning on going away] . . . where would i go? what would i want to do? i was so tired that i wasnt even sure. Financially i knew it wasn't viable either but i also knew i wanted it and needed it. So i prayed a bit. somewhere in my heart i longed for an African Escape...a bush holiday, even a visit to a game reserve... but wallet and doubting spirit didn't think now would be a good time. So i looked at alternatives. chilling in a place in a cooler part of South Africa, with a fireplace....good rest and relaxation time...so we started looking at those options.
The places we liked, and could afford all answered "no availability". I got a bit despondent. i really needed the rest. i was even looking at some places i couldnt afford and thinking, "God you can provide the money." there was one in particular which are awesome treehouse type cabins...nope. no availability.
Then my mom reminded me of someone we know who has guest cottages in Zululand. and i googled where it was. It is gorgeous. Such a nice setting, almost a log cabin feel, on the edge of a forest with a 10 meter high sky walk through the forest....That is good bush. I contacted the person, they not only had availability but also gave us a huge discount because we know them....fantastic. i started to get excited, it felt like God had seen me trying to settle for second best and gone, "i have this covered, just wait and see."
one thing i was planning on, in a completely different region, that i have longed for years to do, was visit a butterfly farm. always been a dream to enter the Dome and be surrounded by gorgeous vegetation and beautiful butterflies. This happened to be in the cooler option. . . next thing my friend sends me a message.
The new venue, with its gorgeous forest, has a butterfly dome on the edge of it. FOR REAL!!!! yay. So i get forest, and bush and a price that works. it doesn't get much better than this. . . oh but it does. We are staying in the new venue on the sunday and monday nights. We decided to just chill on the saturday here in Durban. . . but somehow someway someone found a deal and has paid for us to stay the Saturday night in a game reserve, complete with early morning game drive. i went and googled the accommodation and its tree houses, on stilts. what are the chances? All come together, dreams, desires and location. perfectly. its not because i have done anything special or have a direct hotline. it has left me wondering, "But why?!?!?!" to which God lovingly replies, "Why not?"....turns out HE digs me enough to even enjoy helping plan my holidays.... how awesome is that? Not only does he love me, but he likes me and is involved in every area of my life. what a privilege.
You see soon I will be enjoying something that I have longed for, and have watched God weave it together in a way that has left me a little curious and asking "but why?"... i am definitely not complaining, far from it. But sometimes I don't understand the generosity of God.
I am quite tired and am working in quite a stressful job. The job, itself i love. I really like my boss too. In fact the job is nothing short of a miracle and answer to prayer. Coming back from the mission field, then taking a break to recover and deal with PTSD, the reality of needing to get secular work loomed in the background. i remember in the end of June saying to God. "if its not ministry, and i have to go back into secular work for a while, the job i enjoyed the most was being a medical receptionist. But i would prefer to start in a new practice, so i am not filling someone else's shoes." Let me tell you that new medical practices are rare. I didn't here God laugh in response. I heard him simply say "September". i knew He was giving me rest time. i sent my cv to many places and had many interviews and seemed well liked. somehow i never landed the jobs. Then wise people would ask me, after an interview, "is it a new practice?" "is it medical?" "when is the start date" and it never lined up with my desire. that explains why i wasn't getting the jobs. This job miraculously opened up, with being interviewed middle of August and the start date was 1 September. My boss is great and its a new medical practice. it really is a God answer.
Being a new practice i had to make peace with a few things that weren't my ideal, but were temporary. 1] working Saturdays. 2] starting pay was lower than i originally wanted. 3] no real leave for at least the first year.
I was getting tired working Saturdays and a few months in my boss made a decision to end the practice being open on a Saturday. a few months in she also gave me a raise. I am tired at the moment and wanting just a small break to unwind. The problem is if i take time off she needs to be able to not have the rooms open on those days but only be available for emergencies. not ideal at the moment. But I asked the question anyway...aiming for a potential long weekend in August. a month after i asked the question she said yes....that was the first miracle.
Then i sat with a dilema...if i had time off and could go away. [a friend and i were planning on going away] . . . where would i go? what would i want to do? i was so tired that i wasnt even sure. Financially i knew it wasn't viable either but i also knew i wanted it and needed it. So i prayed a bit. somewhere in my heart i longed for an African Escape...a bush holiday, even a visit to a game reserve... but wallet and doubting spirit didn't think now would be a good time. So i looked at alternatives. chilling in a place in a cooler part of South Africa, with a fireplace....good rest and relaxation time...so we started looking at those options.
The places we liked, and could afford all answered "no availability". I got a bit despondent. i really needed the rest. i was even looking at some places i couldnt afford and thinking, "God you can provide the money." there was one in particular which are awesome treehouse type cabins...nope. no availability.
Then my mom reminded me of someone we know who has guest cottages in Zululand. and i googled where it was. It is gorgeous. Such a nice setting, almost a log cabin feel, on the edge of a forest with a 10 meter high sky walk through the forest....That is good bush. I contacted the person, they not only had availability but also gave us a huge discount because we know them....fantastic. i started to get excited, it felt like God had seen me trying to settle for second best and gone, "i have this covered, just wait and see."
one thing i was planning on, in a completely different region, that i have longed for years to do, was visit a butterfly farm. always been a dream to enter the Dome and be surrounded by gorgeous vegetation and beautiful butterflies. This happened to be in the cooler option. . . next thing my friend sends me a message.
The new venue, with its gorgeous forest, has a butterfly dome on the edge of it. FOR REAL!!!! yay. So i get forest, and bush and a price that works. it doesn't get much better than this. . . oh but it does. We are staying in the new venue on the sunday and monday nights. We decided to just chill on the saturday here in Durban. . . but somehow someway someone found a deal and has paid for us to stay the Saturday night in a game reserve, complete with early morning game drive. i went and googled the accommodation and its tree houses, on stilts. what are the chances? All come together, dreams, desires and location. perfectly. its not because i have done anything special or have a direct hotline. it has left me wondering, "But why?!?!?!" to which God lovingly replies, "Why not?"....turns out HE digs me enough to even enjoy helping plan my holidays.... how awesome is that? Not only does he love me, but he likes me and is involved in every area of my life. what a privilege.
Tuesday, July 12, 2016
Woe to the tempters ... now hand me that chocolate
In my devotions this morning I read the following scripture from Matthew 18:7b
"Temptation is inevitable but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting."
Ouch! I was talking to a friend recently as we stood in the line to pay for our groceries. Like most supermarkets there is a perfectly placed stand of temptation right where you wait to pay. Chocolates and snacks and all sorts....no literally "All-Sorts" [its the name of a sweet that I enjoy].
The person is not from South Africa and was very perturbed. They were going on about how unjust it is to have the stands there. How the managers should be made accountable for their actions because they are tempting people. My friend was getting more and more passionate about how unfair it is.
He is right, and the scripture above surely lends towards that. Tempters will and should be held accountable, in the area of sin. And when we move away from the supermarket isle and look at tempters in general, pertaining to sin, it amazes me how its not usually just one sin in operation. Ever noticed how a person oozing seduction is also a master at deceit and manipulation? it's like these things not only work hand in hand but also feed off each other.
Woe to the tempters. . . really not cool what they are doing.
However.
Woe to the ones who don't exercise self-control and give in to the temptation. As much as i agreed with my friend, that the store was not being fair by dangling temptation in our faces, at a place where people are waiting their turn. The truth is that neither my friend nor I bought any of the chocolates/sweets that were tempting us. We exercised self-control and made it out the door. As much as the temptation was there, I am a grown up, and a christian, and I have been given the ability to exercise free will. I am not a 2 year old stomping its foot till its mom gives in and buys the sweet.
No matter how tempting a situation or sin, or circumstance . . . you are equally responsible if you give in to it. end of story. At the end of the day you will stand before God and give account for your actions. And the world is full of temptation. it is. and people will also try and tempt you. . . but whether you give in or not is your choice and your responsibility.
God, as always, is faithful and promises a way out. And nothing is new under the sun. You are not unique in this aspect, all are exposed to the same sin, but not all choose to walk in that sin.
1 Corinthians 10:13
The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.
"Temptation is inevitable but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting."
Ouch! I was talking to a friend recently as we stood in the line to pay for our groceries. Like most supermarkets there is a perfectly placed stand of temptation right where you wait to pay. Chocolates and snacks and all sorts....no literally "All-Sorts" [its the name of a sweet that I enjoy].
The person is not from South Africa and was very perturbed. They were going on about how unjust it is to have the stands there. How the managers should be made accountable for their actions because they are tempting people. My friend was getting more and more passionate about how unfair it is.
He is right, and the scripture above surely lends towards that. Tempters will and should be held accountable, in the area of sin. And when we move away from the supermarket isle and look at tempters in general, pertaining to sin, it amazes me how its not usually just one sin in operation. Ever noticed how a person oozing seduction is also a master at deceit and manipulation? it's like these things not only work hand in hand but also feed off each other.
Woe to the tempters. . . really not cool what they are doing.
However.
Woe to the ones who don't exercise self-control and give in to the temptation. As much as i agreed with my friend, that the store was not being fair by dangling temptation in our faces, at a place where people are waiting their turn. The truth is that neither my friend nor I bought any of the chocolates/sweets that were tempting us. We exercised self-control and made it out the door. As much as the temptation was there, I am a grown up, and a christian, and I have been given the ability to exercise free will. I am not a 2 year old stomping its foot till its mom gives in and buys the sweet.
No matter how tempting a situation or sin, or circumstance . . . you are equally responsible if you give in to it. end of story. At the end of the day you will stand before God and give account for your actions. And the world is full of temptation. it is. and people will also try and tempt you. . . but whether you give in or not is your choice and your responsibility.
God, as always, is faithful and promises a way out. And nothing is new under the sun. You are not unique in this aspect, all are exposed to the same sin, but not all choose to walk in that sin.
1 Corinthians 10:13
The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.
Monday, July 11, 2016
health benefits
When I started my current job, almost a year ago, one of the first questions many people asked me was, "Does it have health benefits?" It was a strange question to my brain, having been on the mission field for almost a decade living off faith and donations. As I reentered the secular working world, I realized that many jobs include paid sick leave and some even include medical insurance....not all but some do, which is quite nice.
I know that is a bit of a random opening paragraph, but hang in there. You see out of nowhere yesterday flu snuck up on me and pounced. And it is a BAD flu. it felt like it had taken its icy cold hands and shoved razor blades down my throat whilst stuffing my nose full of congestion. I was fine one minute and the next I wasn't. Many people I know have spent a week in bed with this particular flu. I was not impressed and not wanting it to progress.
This morning I woke up, feeling much the same but with a fever and swollen glands to add to the list. You know when you feel awful but yet aren't quite sick enough to miss a day of work? That was how I felt. I dosed myself up on general over the counter meds and drank lots of rooibos tea with honey/fresh ginger/fresh lemon. By midday my glands were smaller and my throat wasn't sore. The fever, fatigue and congestion still need to work their way out of me, but on the whole I am bouncing back quite quickly.
I suddenly realized that in the last 3 years, despite all the stress of PTSD and depression, and travel and re-settling etc. My immune system has been very strong. I have picked up quite a few minor colds and flu type bugs but they never linger more than a week or so. Also they never develop to the point of needing to see a doctor or take an antibiotic. In 3 years I have taken an antibiotic once and that was for a tooth abscess. I am not against antibiotics, and can say if i showed any sign of needing them, or of infection i would not hesitate to take them, but I am also enjoying having an immune system that can fight back for itself.
You see years ago i suffered with Lupus, an autoimmune disease. I was permanently sick and on chronic meds and had no ability to fight off any disease because my body was too busy fighting itself. So to be in the place I am today, health wise is a miracle. In fact it is a literal miracle because I believe I was healed of Lupus. There has been no sign in my body and I have been off all medication since 2008.
My job might not have health benefits, but that is ok because My God is my healer.
Psalm 103 : 2-3 [The Voice translation]
O my soul, come, praise the Eternal;
sing a song from a grateful heart;
sing and never forget all the good He has done.
3 Despite all your many offenses, He forgives and releases you.
More than any doctor, He heals your diseases
In the NIV it says "forget not all His benefits". I know that sometimes people don't get healed, christian or non. And sometimes non Christians receive a miracle but don't become Christian, I can't explain the why or why not in healing. I can simply say that I am really grateful that I have experienced healing, and not by anything I did or because I deserved it more.
For those Christian's struggling and discouraged about healing, remember this body is your temporary earthen vessel, passing through. It has to pass away one day. But you are Christian, you are born again and have eternal life and that miracle far outweighs physical healing.
I read a quote once and it said, "Whoever said that a straightened hand was more dramatic than a healed heart anyway?"
I know that is a bit of a random opening paragraph, but hang in there. You see out of nowhere yesterday flu snuck up on me and pounced. And it is a BAD flu. it felt like it had taken its icy cold hands and shoved razor blades down my throat whilst stuffing my nose full of congestion. I was fine one minute and the next I wasn't. Many people I know have spent a week in bed with this particular flu. I was not impressed and not wanting it to progress.
This morning I woke up, feeling much the same but with a fever and swollen glands to add to the list. You know when you feel awful but yet aren't quite sick enough to miss a day of work? That was how I felt. I dosed myself up on general over the counter meds and drank lots of rooibos tea with honey/fresh ginger/fresh lemon. By midday my glands were smaller and my throat wasn't sore. The fever, fatigue and congestion still need to work their way out of me, but on the whole I am bouncing back quite quickly.
I suddenly realized that in the last 3 years, despite all the stress of PTSD and depression, and travel and re-settling etc. My immune system has been very strong. I have picked up quite a few minor colds and flu type bugs but they never linger more than a week or so. Also they never develop to the point of needing to see a doctor or take an antibiotic. In 3 years I have taken an antibiotic once and that was for a tooth abscess. I am not against antibiotics, and can say if i showed any sign of needing them, or of infection i would not hesitate to take them, but I am also enjoying having an immune system that can fight back for itself.
You see years ago i suffered with Lupus, an autoimmune disease. I was permanently sick and on chronic meds and had no ability to fight off any disease because my body was too busy fighting itself. So to be in the place I am today, health wise is a miracle. In fact it is a literal miracle because I believe I was healed of Lupus. There has been no sign in my body and I have been off all medication since 2008.
My job might not have health benefits, but that is ok because My God is my healer.
Psalm 103 : 2-3 [The Voice translation]
O my soul, come, praise the Eternal;
sing a song from a grateful heart;
sing and never forget all the good He has done.
3 Despite all your many offenses, He forgives and releases you.
More than any doctor, He heals your diseases
In the NIV it says "forget not all His benefits". I know that sometimes people don't get healed, christian or non. And sometimes non Christians receive a miracle but don't become Christian, I can't explain the why or why not in healing. I can simply say that I am really grateful that I have experienced healing, and not by anything I did or because I deserved it more.
For those Christian's struggling and discouraged about healing, remember this body is your temporary earthen vessel, passing through. It has to pass away one day. But you are Christian, you are born again and have eternal life and that miracle far outweighs physical healing.
I read a quote once and it said, "Whoever said that a straightened hand was more dramatic than a healed heart anyway?"
Sunday, July 10, 2016
say that again...
I am working my way through the Gospel of Matthew in my morning devotions. It has been a refreshing read for me, and am really enjoying it.
Something stood out to me the other day, because I remember sitting there thinking, "I am sure that I already read this." and wondering if I had lost my place.
The words were ""I want you to show mercy, not offer sacrifices."
Jesus mentions it in both Matthew 9 and Matthew 12.
Both times, before He quotes this verse, He says something else that is key. . .
The first time He says "Now go and learn the meaning of this scripture...."
And the second time He says, "IF you knew the meaning of this scripture...."
I don't believe repetition is by accident, I believe its a challenge, an encourager to "Take Note"....
And somehow both times they either needed to go and learn what that scripture meant, or it was being pointed out that they had missed the meaning of that scripture entirely. So what is the original scripture that Jesus was pointing towards.
Hosea 6:6
I want you to show love,[a]
not offer sacrifices.
I want you to know me[b]
more than I want burnt offerings
Again its a call to relationship, always about relationship first and foremost. The rest is good, but its not the key....so i challenge myself and all of you.... "Go and learn the meaning of this scripture."
[PS Today's Blog uses scriptures from the New Living Translation ]
Something stood out to me the other day, because I remember sitting there thinking, "I am sure that I already read this." and wondering if I had lost my place.
The words were ""I want you to show mercy, not offer sacrifices."
Jesus mentions it in both Matthew 9 and Matthew 12.
Both times, before He quotes this verse, He says something else that is key. . .
The first time He says "Now go and learn the meaning of this scripture...."
And the second time He says, "IF you knew the meaning of this scripture...."
I don't believe repetition is by accident, I believe its a challenge, an encourager to "Take Note"....
And somehow both times they either needed to go and learn what that scripture meant, or it was being pointed out that they had missed the meaning of that scripture entirely. So what is the original scripture that Jesus was pointing towards.
Hosea 6:6
I want you to show love,[a]
not offer sacrifices.
I want you to know me[b]
more than I want burnt offerings
Again its a call to relationship, always about relationship first and foremost. The rest is good, but its not the key....so i challenge myself and all of you.... "Go and learn the meaning of this scripture."
[PS Today's Blog uses scriptures from the New Living Translation ]
Saturday, July 9, 2016
small thought to ponder.
Heard a intense but awesome quote today. . . so here is something for you all to ponder...
"The eternal conquest between good and evil is not fought with great armies but one life at a time."
Don't get so caught up on the big picture that you loose sight of the worth of an individual. . . and that includes yourself!
"The eternal conquest between good and evil is not fought with great armies but one life at a time."
Don't get so caught up on the big picture that you loose sight of the worth of an individual. . . and that includes yourself!
Friday, July 8, 2016
It is well with my soul
It was a long day at work today. I got home, tired, and incredibly glad it was weekend. My normal on a day like this, would be to grab some easy food and flop on the couch and vege out in front of something to watch. Recently I have been trying something new, changing my habits.
There are still the odd days I will curl up on a couch and chill, but then it is a choice to enjoy a movie or series, as opposed to zoning out habitually. Instead I am taking those moments to do something creative, write, crochet, work on a project or doodle. So tonight I came home, made a nice warm drink, sat down at my art table and doodled.
I am really enjoying exploring ink, and I felt more relaxed afterwards. It reminded me of a sermon I heard many many years ago. The preacher was speaking about how we are not just body, nor are we just spirit, nor are we just soul [mind, will, emotions]. . . that all 3 are connected.
They were so that as Christians we are usually very good at tending to our spiritual side, but not that good at tending to the physical side. Some do tend to the physical side. . . but heed the scriptures and don't get obsessed with this side of life....
1 Timothy 4:8
Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come
But how many of us truly take care of our souls? We often do only if there is a wound or sin, but in general do we make time to do something we enjoy? something that feeds the soul?
If all 3 areas are linked, that means if one area is weak or sick or injured or neglected it will eventually have a negative effect in the other two areas. Perhaps that is partly why God created us to be creative and relational, because that ministers to the soul? I am just taking a guess at that.
Even non Christians and science have noticed a link between illness in the physical body and our emotional state. Often a symptom of a chronic or fatal illness is depression, because as the body suffers it wears down the soul. Same as often if a hurt or trauma or stress etc are evident in our souls for too long it causes a chemical shift in our physical brain that leads to a depression or anxiety that needs to be treated with medication. There are countless bad effects of stress on us, that are documented and evident. Same as eating badly will have a bad effect on our physical bodies but that in turn will be linked back to our emotions, where it be comfort eating because of an emotional wound, or starving ourselves because of self-hatred and other "soul wounds". It is obvious how intertwined it is.
So why do we pay attention to our spirit and bodies but neglect our souls. i encourage you to do something for your soul this weekend. Garden. Take a walk on the beach. Cook. Spend time with someone that encourages you. Listen to your favorite band. Exercise. Doodle. Whatever it is that ministers to your soul . . . go ahead and enjoy a moment this weekend. And make a decision from here on out, to take care, and be a faithful steward, of ALL areas of your life, not just the obvious ones....So that all areas may be in good health.
3 John :2 [AMP]
Beloved, I pray that in every way you may succeed and prosper and be in good health [physically], just as [I know] your soul prospers [spiritually]
There are still the odd days I will curl up on a couch and chill, but then it is a choice to enjoy a movie or series, as opposed to zoning out habitually. Instead I am taking those moments to do something creative, write, crochet, work on a project or doodle. So tonight I came home, made a nice warm drink, sat down at my art table and doodled.
I am really enjoying exploring ink, and I felt more relaxed afterwards. It reminded me of a sermon I heard many many years ago. The preacher was speaking about how we are not just body, nor are we just spirit, nor are we just soul [mind, will, emotions]. . . that all 3 are connected.
They were so that as Christians we are usually very good at tending to our spiritual side, but not that good at tending to the physical side. Some do tend to the physical side. . . but heed the scriptures and don't get obsessed with this side of life....
1 Timothy 4:8
Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come
But how many of us truly take care of our souls? We often do only if there is a wound or sin, but in general do we make time to do something we enjoy? something that feeds the soul?
If all 3 areas are linked, that means if one area is weak or sick or injured or neglected it will eventually have a negative effect in the other two areas. Perhaps that is partly why God created us to be creative and relational, because that ministers to the soul? I am just taking a guess at that.
Even non Christians and science have noticed a link between illness in the physical body and our emotional state. Often a symptom of a chronic or fatal illness is depression, because as the body suffers it wears down the soul. Same as often if a hurt or trauma or stress etc are evident in our souls for too long it causes a chemical shift in our physical brain that leads to a depression or anxiety that needs to be treated with medication. There are countless bad effects of stress on us, that are documented and evident. Same as eating badly will have a bad effect on our physical bodies but that in turn will be linked back to our emotions, where it be comfort eating because of an emotional wound, or starving ourselves because of self-hatred and other "soul wounds". It is obvious how intertwined it is.
So why do we pay attention to our spirit and bodies but neglect our souls. i encourage you to do something for your soul this weekend. Garden. Take a walk on the beach. Cook. Spend time with someone that encourages you. Listen to your favorite band. Exercise. Doodle. Whatever it is that ministers to your soul . . . go ahead and enjoy a moment this weekend. And make a decision from here on out, to take care, and be a faithful steward, of ALL areas of your life, not just the obvious ones....So that all areas may be in good health.
3 John :2 [AMP]
Beloved, I pray that in every way you may succeed and prosper and be in good health [physically], just as [I know] your soul prospers [spiritually]
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