Thursday, March 23, 2017
A sketch in time -2
As promised, from time to time I will share some pics of creative projects that I am working on. . .
Wednesday, March 22, 2017
When God is silent.
I think one of the most common human experiences shared by all, is a time when we desperately need God to answer us, to move on our behalf and yet it feels like our prayers are bouncing off the ceiling and it feels like God is remaining silent.
It can be the most heartbreaking thing to endure, when life is falling apart, a miracle is desperately needed and God is seemingly silent.
I have often wrestled with a certain passage of scripture because the whole scene doesn't make sense to me, truthfully it still doesn't make sense to me. . . and honestly many times God's silence does not make sense to me. I know that God not only CAN answer my prayers but WANTS TOO answer them...so why the silence?
I may not be able to answer that question this morning but I do want to share a person's response in God's silence to help encourage us and even challenge us a bit. Here are a few points that jump out at me.
Matt 15:22-28 is the story of a Canaanite woman asking Jesus to heal her demon possessed daughter.
Ditch the self-pity
This woman didn't wail on and on about how terrible life was, and how bad things were. She didn't sit listing event after event of things that had happened because of her demon possessed daughter. She didn't sulk about how unfair it was that her daughter was demon possessed. She didn't try manipulate Jesus with her pain and despair [as real and true as they were]. But what she did do was persistently ask Jesus for help.
Be Honest
She didn't fake it, pretend all was well and call it faith. She didn't lie and say the healing was already done. She was open in her request and stated the facts. As I said before she didn't lament in self-pity when approaching Jesus, but she also didn't pretend the issue wasn't there. She was honest and open in sharing the facts. My daughter is demon possessed and it afflicts her severely. How often do we approach God with a lie, and call it faith. Professing that we are healed when we aren't yet? God knows our bodies. God knows our situations. He isn't scared of us approaching in truth and saying, this is what is going on, please help. We don't have to fake it, in pretense of faith in the hope to twist His arm to do it.
She was persistent
She did not give up. She overcame culture to push in for help. in those days a non-Jewish woman approaching a Jewish man was against culture. It was taboo. But she took the risk of punishment, ridicule and rejection because she was desperate. Now imagine this, she has overcome all these cultural barricades, and gathered her faith and her courage whilst trying to silence her fears that her daughter would be like this forever and she has approached Jesus, the only solution and His response....silence....
I would have burst into tears or walked away ashamed.
Jesus did not answer. not a word. [vs 23]. Stop and think about your responses when God seems silent? But this woman didn't give up. She kept asking. She didn't get angry or vent at God. She didn't fall into self-pity. She kept asking. Her persistence attracting the attention of the disciples and they begged Jesus to send her away. but even in the face of rejection and other pressurizing her to give up, she kept on asking. Jesus then appears to say no. I don't even have to ask you to imagine this. We have all had moments when God appears silent or appears to say no. And sometimes, God does say no. And our worlds are rocked and crumble beneath us. We all know what this desperate woman would be feeling in this situation. But her response.....worship and submission!
Worship and submission.
Not only did this woman not give up in the face of God's silence. Not only did she not vent and sulk but in response to His silence and apparent NO, she worshiped. in the New Living Translation it says this in verse 25
But she came and worshiped him, pleading again, “Lord, help me!”
Other translations say that she bowed down. So that tells us when she first approached Jesus she was not groveling at his feet. Yes she was begging/pleading but she was bold. But despite His responses, she knew who Jesus was and came low, bowed to His will, even though it wasn't the answer she was looking for and worshiped. This is not the way I generally respond in situations like these. Now note here, submitting and worshiping didn't mean she gave up. She still asked for his help.
She engaged in conversation
She was open to hearing God and speaking to Him. Many of us pray at God, and throw our requests at him but we don't speak with Him. Yes sometimes we get silence initially and we give up. But I think that sometimes we perceive silence because we haven't actually engaged in conversation with God. We look for an outward sign, as the answer. We wait for the change in situation to be the answer. We don't approach expecting to hear His will, His word as the answer. Our faith is built on results not on WHO God is, and time and time again we walk away disappointed and empty handed.
God responds to Faith. without Faith it is impossible to please God. But often, now days what we think is Faith isn't really faith at all. This bold non-Jewish woman approaching Jesus was commended for having great Faith. and as an added bonus her daughter was healed. I believe it is because she genuinely knew God, and had Faith IN HIM not the outcome.
I believe this is the faith that gave her boldness to approach in the first place because she knew that a loving God would not reject her based on prejudice and race and difference in culture.
I believe that this faith in Him, gave her the boldness to ask for the miracle. She knew his character, knew that He was loving. knew that he had compassion. knew that he desired to show mercy. Knew that He wanted to help.
She knew who Jesus was, who God is. Son of David. Lord! Master! These phrases show us that she knew him, that she knew he was sovereign. The fact that she worshiped him, and bowed to Him, even though she had not yet received the answer she wanted nor the miracle she sought. These things all show us her heart. It shows us that her heart knew Him, and trusted in Him. and He, seeing her heart, engaged with her, talking to her in a way he had never [as written in the gospels] interacted with anyone else before. He responded to her faith. and then he commended her faith.
I am so challenged by this woman's heart and story, but I am equally encouraged to know God more because of it.
Wednesday, March 15, 2017
The Art of The Matter
Nope you didn't read wrong . . . I would like to take a moment to talk about The Art of The Matter ....or maybe I should says, The Matter of Art.
Now by Art, I don't mean a fixed term limited to someone who can sketch or paint, I really am talking about all forms of CREATIVITY.
Again, don't get stuck in a box with a definition of what CREATIVITY is or isn't because one of its key factors is that CREATIVITY is not stuck in a box!!!
I have shared this story more times than I can count. It is long-winded, spanning more than 15 years....and in fact is still continuing. Let me re-share it, but in a shorter form.
Girl has vision of art center. A LITERAL VISION!
Girl panics, at the size of vision. No doors open. Girl shelves vision and continues with life.
The place: Elbasan, Albania.
Girl randomly remembers long lost art vision.
Girl is approached by local artist, who whilst praying was shown her name to join in a vision he had.
The vision was identical to the girl's vision.
Girl agrees.
Girl packs her bag and returns to South Africa for first visit in over 4 years. Her only visit home, in all her years full time on the mission field in Albania.
The place: Durban, South Africa.
Girl experiences random coincidence.
Girl meets a South African who has ministered in Kosovo [bordering Albania] with an American who has same art vision but is 3 years ahead of the game, in the same culture. Girl obtains contact details.
Girl packs bag and heads back to Albania.
No! Wait a moment! It is far from the end. I am back in South Africa, and still connecting with many people with similar vision and heart for what God can and does do through creativity and creative ministry. The End is a long way away, and I know one day that I will be back full time in this type of field, somewhere on this earth.
Now many of you might be wondering what the point of all of this was???
Well....keep reading....
As I have said, I am a firm believer in the power of Creativity. Obviously I am an even firmer believer in what God can do in and through creativity. If you look both in the "secular" world and the "christian" world, you will see many great examples of this. Art is used in counseling the traumatized, helping to bring physical rehabilitation. It's a good way to release stress. Music can help us mourn or help us celebrate. where ever you look in life there is Art, from the colour we paint our walls in our houses to the trees we drive past on the way to work. There is not a place or space void of some form of creativity that you live life in.
Now when that Creativity is infused with the power of the Creator, imagine what possible results there could be? Because ultimately God alone can create, and ultimately God created creativity, so when the very source, the very life breath of all that is, infuses and oozes out of our creativity and into our lives, it creates a God spaced atmosphere for the impossible. A place to connect with our CREATOR!
I believe creativity is crucial because it is something that ministers directly to the soul of a person. It can bypass out logical arguments and hit our emotional nerve center. I believe God has designed it for this, but also for us to enjoy. Think of the delight you feel when you do something you love, or listen to your favorite artist etc. God knows that our souls will get weary in a world fraught with anguish... He's given us glimpses of beauty and hope and joy for our souls, through creativity.
It is something that I am passionate about, and just because I am not currently on the field, full time in the creative ministry capacity does not mean that I am not involved. One of the ways that I am involved is by creating awareness of others who are doing this type of ministry.
For eg, The American mentioned in my story. As I said, it was a God ordained connection that God took 15 years behind the scenes connecting the dots together. But through that connection I gained a wealth of knowledge and a good friend. I have watched this man go through many trials and tribulations, and yet remain faithful. He is now embarking on the next step, the next Act in his own play of life. He is moving to Colorado, after many years of patiently waiting for this door to open, to begin yet another arts ministry.
So I ask that you take a moment to view his video, and consider if there is any way you can be involved. Whether it is to pray for his ministry, drop him a word of encouragement, support him financially or simply share his video to encourage others in their creative pursuit of God. So without further delay.... go and have a look see what all this is about, just click on the link below.
Colorado Art Ministry
Now by Art, I don't mean a fixed term limited to someone who can sketch or paint, I really am talking about all forms of CREATIVITY.
Again, don't get stuck in a box with a definition of what CREATIVITY is or isn't because one of its key factors is that CREATIVITY is not stuck in a box!!!
I have shared this story more times than I can count. It is long-winded, spanning more than 15 years....and in fact is still continuing. Let me re-share it, but in a shorter form.
ACT 1
The year: 1997.
The place: Durban South Africa
Girl [that would be me] is introduced to an epic concept of art/drama/creativity/music combined in spreading the gospel. cue No Longer Music's video and book.Girl has vision of art center. A LITERAL VISION!
Girl panics, at the size of vision. No doors open. Girl shelves vision and continues with life.
ACT 2
The year: 2012.The place: Elbasan, Albania.
Girl randomly remembers long lost art vision.
Girl is approached by local artist, who whilst praying was shown her name to join in a vision he had.
The vision was identical to the girl's vision.
Girl agrees.
Girl packs her bag and returns to South Africa for first visit in over 4 years. Her only visit home, in all her years full time on the mission field in Albania.
ACT 3
The year: 2012.The place: Durban, South Africa.
Girl experiences random coincidence.
Girl meets a South African who has ministered in Kosovo [bordering Albania] with an American who has same art vision but is 3 years ahead of the game, in the same culture. Girl obtains contact details.
Girl packs bag and heads back to Albania.
ACT 4
The Year: 2012-2014
The Place: Elbasan, Albania [with a few visits to Kosovo]
Girl and American meet. Similar vision shared. Much help given in starting an arts ministry. Great insight gained from the American's experience and knowledge. Events organised, including one that hosted No Longer Music.
The end.
No! Wait a moment! It is far from the end. I am back in South Africa, and still connecting with many people with similar vision and heart for what God can and does do through creativity and creative ministry. The End is a long way away, and I know one day that I will be back full time in this type of field, somewhere on this earth.
Now many of you might be wondering what the point of all of this was???
Well....keep reading....
As I have said, I am a firm believer in the power of Creativity. Obviously I am an even firmer believer in what God can do in and through creativity. If you look both in the "secular" world and the "christian" world, you will see many great examples of this. Art is used in counseling the traumatized, helping to bring physical rehabilitation. It's a good way to release stress. Music can help us mourn or help us celebrate. where ever you look in life there is Art, from the colour we paint our walls in our houses to the trees we drive past on the way to work. There is not a place or space void of some form of creativity that you live life in.
Now when that Creativity is infused with the power of the Creator, imagine what possible results there could be? Because ultimately God alone can create, and ultimately God created creativity, so when the very source, the very life breath of all that is, infuses and oozes out of our creativity and into our lives, it creates a God spaced atmosphere for the impossible. A place to connect with our CREATOR!
I believe creativity is crucial because it is something that ministers directly to the soul of a person. It can bypass out logical arguments and hit our emotional nerve center. I believe God has designed it for this, but also for us to enjoy. Think of the delight you feel when you do something you love, or listen to your favorite artist etc. God knows that our souls will get weary in a world fraught with anguish... He's given us glimpses of beauty and hope and joy for our souls, through creativity.
It is something that I am passionate about, and just because I am not currently on the field, full time in the creative ministry capacity does not mean that I am not involved. One of the ways that I am involved is by creating awareness of others who are doing this type of ministry.
For eg, The American mentioned in my story. As I said, it was a God ordained connection that God took 15 years behind the scenes connecting the dots together. But through that connection I gained a wealth of knowledge and a good friend. I have watched this man go through many trials and tribulations, and yet remain faithful. He is now embarking on the next step, the next Act in his own play of life. He is moving to Colorado, after many years of patiently waiting for this door to open, to begin yet another arts ministry.
So I ask that you take a moment to view his video, and consider if there is any way you can be involved. Whether it is to pray for his ministry, drop him a word of encouragement, support him financially or simply share his video to encourage others in their creative pursuit of God. So without further delay.... go and have a look see what all this is about, just click on the link below.
Colorado Art Ministry
Monday, March 13, 2017
in other news....
I don't normally do this, and this is not my normal type of blog . . . but there has been so many "interesting" things occurring in the news over the last few days, that I feel the news to touch base on some of it.
First was the hi-jacking saga. Tragic. I don't know if any other world can really be use. Living in South Africa, crime is a sad reality. I have heard people say that when you hear South African's speaking the question isn't, "have you ever been a victim of crime?" but rather, "How often have you been a victim of crime?" don't get me wrong. I love this nation, and it's people, but crime is a reality that I have personally experienced, and know many others who too have walked through it. . . So when the news breaks that a hijacking occurred and that a 1 month old baby was in the car, our province and our nation, who are normally desensitized by crime, came to a standstill and a rallied together to try help.
Every shop you walked into, every group of people you walked passed, the situation was on their lips and being forwarded on every media and social media avenue possible. A nation stopped and prayed and comforted.
This is the spirit of South Africa, where a nation gathers together to help one another in times of trouble.
Fortunately the baby was recovered, sadly the mother was involved and it was not the hijacking that it first appeared to be. . . but regardless of how tragic a story it is, well done South Africa for showing your support and your true nature.
http://www.timeslive.co.za/local/2017/03/12/BREAKING-BabySiwaphiwes-mom-arrested
The weather in our nation can be beautiful and glorious but also a challenge. Some of you may know that I don't like cycling and think of "bike" or "bicycle" as a bit of a swear word. . . It seems that Cape Town winds agreed with my opinion as they literally brought the annual Argus to a grinding halt with winds reaching 100km an hour [roughly 62 miles per hour - i think]. As much as I don't like cycling, I wouldn't wish harm on any poor soul who does favour the sport....here is a glimpse of what chaos the Cape Doctor created.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93sx0lpxqI4
Durban didn't want to be left out of the action. You never know when things can change, one sunny Saturday morning you speeding down the beach promenade with masses of people all trying to get some exercise in. [i did 5km, by the way - *pats herself on the back*] ...as you briskly walk with your friend, you remember to glance out to sea and take a moment to appreciate your surroundings. "Waves look big today. Actually the sea looks quite rough." you remark and you continue on your way....Sunday comes....and this happens....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-p5YNowdZHc
same beachfront ...one day later!!!! Man, that makes Saturday's big waves seem minute in comparison. Am grateful I had chosen to walk on Saturday and not Sunday!!! feel really sorry for all the damaged restaurants etc. Thankfully not many injuries.
what a week news wise. . . .and when you can't think of anything else.... you get the updated list of countries that you can visit without a visa, as a South African....Good news at last! even better news is that Ireland, Grenada and Barbados are on that list.... I have places to stay and friends to visit in all those countries....so now all I need is the airfare - HINT! HINT! NUDGE NUDGE!
https://businesstech.co.za/news/wealth/150789/south-africans-can-visit-these-90-countries-without-a-visa-in-2017/
and then you scroll through facebook, and this catches your eye....
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/charity-worker-jailed-child-abuse-10009633
Now, I am not sharing this latest bit of news to spark a debate or get inundated with your opinions. But this is a significant story that had indirectly affected many areas of my life whilst I ministered in Albania. It was a constant thought in my mind to be cautious and aware and keep safe guards in place, especially because I worked with street boys and Roma children. It had a huge impact on how I did ministry. It had a huge ripple effect, even though I had never met the man, many people were not open to the gospel because they associated Christianity with the accused, even though they too had not met the man. I know many missionaries who had suspicion and false accusations cast over them, even to the point of enduring court cases, because of this case. It did a lot of damage and effected a lot of work and missionaries and ministries. It made me even more cautious because I knew a local Albanian who was caught [and who confessed] to abusing an orphan, who simply received a warning, but yet a foreigner who was accused received 20 years in prison, This was a deciding factor in me pulling out of working with street kids because I knew just one accusation, false and unsubstantiated would land me in jail for a long time more so because I was foreign than anything else. So it was interest that I noted an update on this story cross the facebook news feed today.
and last and not least, because a lot of what was shared today has been way to serious and tragic....and because I need to uphold my reputation of always taking things to the toilet...here is a link to some toilet's that I would love to visit. . . .have a great day....keep watching this space for more blog updates.
https://www.wheretraveler.com/king-thrones-14-worlds-most-intriguing-public-toilets?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=kw&kwp_0=319998&kwp_4=1291794&kwp_1=574149#slide-1
First was the hi-jacking saga. Tragic. I don't know if any other world can really be use. Living in South Africa, crime is a sad reality. I have heard people say that when you hear South African's speaking the question isn't, "have you ever been a victim of crime?" but rather, "How often have you been a victim of crime?" don't get me wrong. I love this nation, and it's people, but crime is a reality that I have personally experienced, and know many others who too have walked through it. . . So when the news breaks that a hijacking occurred and that a 1 month old baby was in the car, our province and our nation, who are normally desensitized by crime, came to a standstill and a rallied together to try help.
Every shop you walked into, every group of people you walked passed, the situation was on their lips and being forwarded on every media and social media avenue possible. A nation stopped and prayed and comforted.
This is the spirit of South Africa, where a nation gathers together to help one another in times of trouble.
Fortunately the baby was recovered, sadly the mother was involved and it was not the hijacking that it first appeared to be. . . but regardless of how tragic a story it is, well done South Africa for showing your support and your true nature.
http://www.timeslive.co.za/local/2017/03/12/BREAKING-BabySiwaphiwes-mom-arrested
The weather in our nation can be beautiful and glorious but also a challenge. Some of you may know that I don't like cycling and think of "bike" or "bicycle" as a bit of a swear word. . . It seems that Cape Town winds agreed with my opinion as they literally brought the annual Argus to a grinding halt with winds reaching 100km an hour [roughly 62 miles per hour - i think]. As much as I don't like cycling, I wouldn't wish harm on any poor soul who does favour the sport....here is a glimpse of what chaos the Cape Doctor created.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93sx0lpxqI4
Durban didn't want to be left out of the action. You never know when things can change, one sunny Saturday morning you speeding down the beach promenade with masses of people all trying to get some exercise in. [i did 5km, by the way - *pats herself on the back*] ...as you briskly walk with your friend, you remember to glance out to sea and take a moment to appreciate your surroundings. "Waves look big today. Actually the sea looks quite rough." you remark and you continue on your way....Sunday comes....and this happens....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-p5YNowdZHc
same beachfront ...one day later!!!! Man, that makes Saturday's big waves seem minute in comparison. Am grateful I had chosen to walk on Saturday and not Sunday!!! feel really sorry for all the damaged restaurants etc. Thankfully not many injuries.
what a week news wise. . . .and when you can't think of anything else.... you get the updated list of countries that you can visit without a visa, as a South African....Good news at last! even better news is that Ireland, Grenada and Barbados are on that list.... I have places to stay and friends to visit in all those countries....so now all I need is the airfare - HINT! HINT! NUDGE NUDGE!
https://businesstech.co.za/news/wealth/150789/south-africans-can-visit-these-90-countries-without-a-visa-in-2017/
and then you scroll through facebook, and this catches your eye....
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/charity-worker-jailed-child-abuse-10009633
Now, I am not sharing this latest bit of news to spark a debate or get inundated with your opinions. But this is a significant story that had indirectly affected many areas of my life whilst I ministered in Albania. It was a constant thought in my mind to be cautious and aware and keep safe guards in place, especially because I worked with street boys and Roma children. It had a huge impact on how I did ministry. It had a huge ripple effect, even though I had never met the man, many people were not open to the gospel because they associated Christianity with the accused, even though they too had not met the man. I know many missionaries who had suspicion and false accusations cast over them, even to the point of enduring court cases, because of this case. It did a lot of damage and effected a lot of work and missionaries and ministries. It made me even more cautious because I knew a local Albanian who was caught [and who confessed] to abusing an orphan, who simply received a warning, but yet a foreigner who was accused received 20 years in prison, This was a deciding factor in me pulling out of working with street kids because I knew just one accusation, false and unsubstantiated would land me in jail for a long time more so because I was foreign than anything else. So it was interest that I noted an update on this story cross the facebook news feed today.
and last and not least, because a lot of what was shared today has been way to serious and tragic....and because I need to uphold my reputation of always taking things to the toilet...here is a link to some toilet's that I would love to visit. . . .have a great day....keep watching this space for more blog updates.
https://www.wheretraveler.com/king-thrones-14-worlds-most-intriguing-public-toilets?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=kw&kwp_0=319998&kwp_4=1291794&kwp_1=574149#slide-1
Wednesday, March 8, 2017
sunrise . . . .sunset. . . sunrise
There are not many things we can depend on in life. Life is always full of change and transition and curve-balls. . . but we do know, that no matter how dark our night gets we can always be sure of tomorrow's sunrise. . . until this world passes away the sun will always rise.
We all hope for a easy going life with no challenges and no trauma. It doesn't exist. In fact Jesus was confident in telling us that in this world we will have troubles. Thank God Jesus remains with us and thank God that He has over come the world. but these two things are not a magic wand that removes troubled time, its the assurance of God with us in the storms, helping us pass through them. Thankfully we are not alone.
And if life itself is not enough, we [as humans] also have a special tendency of screwing it up. Even when we don't want to, even when we have the best intentions in the world and the purest motives, we don't often don't get it right.
For example yesterday was a manic day at work, and my boss was exhausted. She'd been busy with emergencies the night before till midnight. We had a fully booked day, but then we had some urgent walk-in patients added to the list. I knew she had to perform surgery after hours again that night. It was one of those crazy busy days where you don't even know if you are coming or going. At one point we were running an hour late and had a room full of patients, then the call came asking if she was busy or if she could help out another doctor. Me, with all my best intentions immediately said no because we were busy, and I knew she was exhausted and it seemed impossible. my heart and intentions were good, I was keeping the day together, thinking of not keeping our patients any longer than they already were, protecting my boss' schedule etc and honestly not wanting to overwhelm her. nothing bad in my decision. . . .but it was not the correct decision. and even though it wasn't a big deal at all. . . I still had to face the fact that it was not the right decision. Even though my intentions were great. . . it was not the right decision.
So as humans, intentionally or not, we screw up and make mistakes and then on top of all of the above, we need to factor in sin. ..
almost makes us want to exhale and wonder if there is any chance? any hope? .... and that is where this comes in.
Lamentations 3:22-23 [NLT]
The faithful love of the Lord never ends![a]
His mercies never cease.
23 Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.
Just as surely as the sun will rise, we can be confident in this. . . Our God, the compassionate, all loving Father, will show compassion and His mercy is available new each day. Almost as if it rises with the sun at dawn. Don't be shy to embrace this fact, lean on Him and seek forgiveness for it is freely available. And even if you already did this, yesterday and the day before, it doesn't run out. As surely as the sun will rise, His mercy is available too, no matter how dark the night.
I love how in the Voice translation it says it this way...
the Eternal has inexhaustible compassion.
Don't run from Him, run too Him.... and embrace the start of a new day.
We all hope for a easy going life with no challenges and no trauma. It doesn't exist. In fact Jesus was confident in telling us that in this world we will have troubles. Thank God Jesus remains with us and thank God that He has over come the world. but these two things are not a magic wand that removes troubled time, its the assurance of God with us in the storms, helping us pass through them. Thankfully we are not alone.
And if life itself is not enough, we [as humans] also have a special tendency of screwing it up. Even when we don't want to, even when we have the best intentions in the world and the purest motives, we don't often don't get it right.
For example yesterday was a manic day at work, and my boss was exhausted. She'd been busy with emergencies the night before till midnight. We had a fully booked day, but then we had some urgent walk-in patients added to the list. I knew she had to perform surgery after hours again that night. It was one of those crazy busy days where you don't even know if you are coming or going. At one point we were running an hour late and had a room full of patients, then the call came asking if she was busy or if she could help out another doctor. Me, with all my best intentions immediately said no because we were busy, and I knew she was exhausted and it seemed impossible. my heart and intentions were good, I was keeping the day together, thinking of not keeping our patients any longer than they already were, protecting my boss' schedule etc and honestly not wanting to overwhelm her. nothing bad in my decision. . . .but it was not the correct decision. and even though it wasn't a big deal at all. . . I still had to face the fact that it was not the right decision. Even though my intentions were great. . . it was not the right decision.
So as humans, intentionally or not, we screw up and make mistakes and then on top of all of the above, we need to factor in sin. ..
almost makes us want to exhale and wonder if there is any chance? any hope? .... and that is where this comes in.
Lamentations 3:22-23 [NLT]
The faithful love of the Lord never ends![a]
His mercies never cease.
23 Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.
Just as surely as the sun will rise, we can be confident in this. . . Our God, the compassionate, all loving Father, will show compassion and His mercy is available new each day. Almost as if it rises with the sun at dawn. Don't be shy to embrace this fact, lean on Him and seek forgiveness for it is freely available. And even if you already did this, yesterday and the day before, it doesn't run out. As surely as the sun will rise, His mercy is available too, no matter how dark the night.
I love how in the Voice translation it says it this way...
the Eternal has inexhaustible compassion.
Don't run from Him, run too Him.... and embrace the start of a new day.
Tuesday, March 7, 2017
Sketch In Time #Smudge
So in the effort to be a bit more vulnerable, and force myself to focus more on my art....and bring in more creativity in my life. . . once a week I will post a Sketch In Time blog....
It will simply be art/creative projects that I am currently working on, unfinished, raw and in progress. . . they might never get finished . . . or they might turn out to be duds.... thats ok....my focus is feeding my creativity and growing little by little . . . I often tag my designs or creativity with #Smudge #TheJoyOfImperfection.
That is what I have made peace with. I am not perfect and I am ok with that . . . part of learning is not getting it right....and that is also ok....The important thing is being true to who I am created to be, and embracing and enjoying all that that is, because in doing that I honour my Creator.
so here is my current work in progress. Feel free to click on the photos to see a larger image.
[for those who need something different, feel free to read my blog on creativity and order posted yesterday
http://kerrialb.blogspot.co.za/2017/03/chaotic-creativity.html
It will simply be art/creative projects that I am currently working on, unfinished, raw and in progress. . . they might never get finished . . . or they might turn out to be duds.... thats ok....my focus is feeding my creativity and growing little by little . . . I often tag my designs or creativity with #Smudge #TheJoyOfImperfection.
That is what I have made peace with. I am not perfect and I am ok with that . . . part of learning is not getting it right....and that is also ok....The important thing is being true to who I am created to be, and embracing and enjoying all that that is, because in doing that I honour my Creator.
so here is my current work in progress. Feel free to click on the photos to see a larger image.
[for those who need something different, feel free to read my blog on creativity and order posted yesterday
http://kerrialb.blogspot.co.za/2017/03/chaotic-creativity.html
Monday, March 6, 2017
Chaotic Creativity
I've often heard this expression in the church, "God is not a God of chaos but a God of order." It makes sense, my rebellious creativity side wrestles to embrace it and truthfully even though it sounds like a good solid notion, it held no weight in my life. It really didn't impact me at all....
Then out of nowhere like a voice in the darkness....
Light has started shining over this expression, and I am starting to see things in a new way.
I have recently read an article on depression, and how people with severe depressive/anxiety disorders often live in homes full of clutter and disorder. An extreme version of this would be people who are hoarders.
The article was speaking on ways to ease your depression by simplifying your living space and getting rid of the excess. Now I naturally tend towards mess and clutter. . . always have done so. But when I was struggling with depression it was far worse, and beyond that, the worse it got the more it depressed me but I simply didn't have the energy to deal with it.
Another area that was greatly effected was my creativity, it was near impossible to bring forth any creativity from this state. Which is ironic because I firmly believe that creativity is key in comforting and nurturing the soul and bringing forth healing to the soul. It was counter-productive really.
Then this weekend my brain started flitting across the beginning of it all....Genesis 1. . . and I realized that before God created, He first brought forth order. It was only from the place of order that He moved into creativity. I don't know why I hadn't seen it before.
Now this is still a thought forming, and definitely not a doctrine or firm opinion....but if you look at certain versions they lean towards this statement. . .
Genesis 1:1-2 in the living bible says it this way....
When God began creating[a] the heavens and the earth, 2 the earth was[b] a shapeless, chaotic mass,* with the Spirit of God brooding over the dark vapors.*
and in the Jubilee bible it says [emphasis mine]
The narrative in the Voice bible translation leading into Genesis one says such a beautiful thing.....
With the utterance of His voice, creation takes form, chaos yields to order, light eclipses darkness, and emptiness fills with life.
Perhaps God truly is, as the preachers keep saying, a God of order after all. Perhaps order truly is key in releasing creativity too. I always thought that order would cramp my creative style and put a restriction on the ability to flow. But the more I bring order not just into my life but into my living space, the more I see a surge in creative inspiration and the more I see a place to bring forth beauty, instead of my eyes constantly feasting on chaotic mess. And so strangely, for me, order seems to be taking me against what I had imagined. Instead of stifling my creativity, its releasing and fueling it.
Now never fear, I will never be obsessive compulsive minimalist type. I will always have a slightly messy nature, its part of me. . . but I am appreciating protecting my creative space, so that its pleasing to the soul, nurturing to the soul and restful. Let me know what you think about this theory...[no mom, that is not a licence to talk about fighting with me to clean my room as a child :) ]
Then out of nowhere like a voice in the darkness....
Light has started shining over this expression, and I am starting to see things in a new way.
I have recently read an article on depression, and how people with severe depressive/anxiety disorders often live in homes full of clutter and disorder. An extreme version of this would be people who are hoarders.
The article was speaking on ways to ease your depression by simplifying your living space and getting rid of the excess. Now I naturally tend towards mess and clutter. . . always have done so. But when I was struggling with depression it was far worse, and beyond that, the worse it got the more it depressed me but I simply didn't have the energy to deal with it.
Another area that was greatly effected was my creativity, it was near impossible to bring forth any creativity from this state. Which is ironic because I firmly believe that creativity is key in comforting and nurturing the soul and bringing forth healing to the soul. It was counter-productive really.
Then this weekend my brain started flitting across the beginning of it all....Genesis 1. . . and I realized that before God created, He first brought forth order. It was only from the place of order that He moved into creativity. I don't know why I hadn't seen it before.
Now this is still a thought forming, and definitely not a doctrine or firm opinion....but if you look at certain versions they lean towards this statement. . .
Genesis 1:1-2 in the living bible says it this way....
When God began creating[a] the heavens and the earth, 2 the earth was[b] a shapeless, chaotic mass,* with the Spirit of God brooding over the dark vapors.*
and in the Jubilee bible it says [emphasis mine]
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.
2 And the earth was without order, and empty; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.
The narrative in the Voice bible translation leading into Genesis one says such a beautiful thing.....
With the utterance of His voice, creation takes form, chaos yields to order, light eclipses darkness, and emptiness fills with life.
Perhaps God truly is, as the preachers keep saying, a God of order after all. Perhaps order truly is key in releasing creativity too. I always thought that order would cramp my creative style and put a restriction on the ability to flow. But the more I bring order not just into my life but into my living space, the more I see a surge in creative inspiration and the more I see a place to bring forth beauty, instead of my eyes constantly feasting on chaotic mess. And so strangely, for me, order seems to be taking me against what I had imagined. Instead of stifling my creativity, its releasing and fueling it.
Now never fear, I will never be obsessive compulsive minimalist type. I will always have a slightly messy nature, its part of me. . . but I am appreciating protecting my creative space, so that its pleasing to the soul, nurturing to the soul and restful. Let me know what you think about this theory...[no mom, that is not a licence to talk about fighting with me to clean my room as a child :) ]
Wednesday, March 1, 2017
Turning up the Volume Again
When did we allow the music too fade? Recently I had a moment, that my adult conformist brain shuddered at. . . I was driving home from work, and I turned the volume up really loud in my car AND then I started to sing along with a good old song really loudly. Loud enough to strain my voice. . . and YES, my windows were down....and NO, I cant sing. . . but let me tell you....IT FELT GOOD.
But it made me wonder . . . when did we turn down the volume? when did we let the music fade? when did i become a typical cliche of an ""old person"? and wouldn't life be more colourful and fun if we turned the volume back up again?
I don't remember myself as a small child in this aspect . . . but some of my nephews and a ton of youtube videos will show ...small children have no inhibitions when their favorite song comes on. I remember my one nephew would literally jump off the med and bounce of the walls when his favorite song came on. They dance their hearts out enjoying the moment and the music full regardless of whether they can dance or not.
I do remember my teen years. . . Music was almost as constant as oxygen. It was also being played, and always on. . . even when studying for exams, music was blaring. obviously older people would question whether we could study with that noise on . . . but we could and we did. I was a groupie, always at local gigs and around band practices, music was life back then. I was first on the dancefloor [with another friend of mine].... now i'm not a great dancer but it didnt matter. . . Sometimes it was only us 2 on the dance floor...but it didnt matter, we lost ourselves in the enjoyment of the moment and the music.
And now? when did it fade? I still enjoy music, I do . . . usually as background noise when i'm driving or when i'm drawing/painting etc or cleaning house. . . but i have stopped enjoying it, i have stopped dancing my heart out or belting out the lyrics at the top of my voice.
Now i know, sadly, we dont live in a musical . . . though my family and i did have a rare moment on Christmas morning when opening presents that somehow ended up with all of us loudly and happily, and somewhat spontaneously singing, "when a moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie....that's amorer" . . . but we don't live in a musical....but sadly in my own life, and i would hazard a guess in a lot of people's lives.... we have turned down the volume.
imagine how much less gym we'd need if we randomly had bursts of song and dance in our homes . . . imagine how much better our souls would feel if we started to create moments that bring song, dance and enjoyment back into our lives again? i think its time to turn up the volume again, not because i have to but because its FUN!
But it made me wonder . . . when did we turn down the volume? when did we let the music fade? when did i become a typical cliche of an ""old person"? and wouldn't life be more colourful and fun if we turned the volume back up again?
I don't remember myself as a small child in this aspect . . . but some of my nephews and a ton of youtube videos will show ...small children have no inhibitions when their favorite song comes on. I remember my one nephew would literally jump off the med and bounce of the walls when his favorite song came on. They dance their hearts out enjoying the moment and the music full regardless of whether they can dance or not.
I do remember my teen years. . . Music was almost as constant as oxygen. It was also being played, and always on. . . even when studying for exams, music was blaring. obviously older people would question whether we could study with that noise on . . . but we could and we did. I was a groupie, always at local gigs and around band practices, music was life back then. I was first on the dancefloor [with another friend of mine].... now i'm not a great dancer but it didnt matter. . . Sometimes it was only us 2 on the dance floor...but it didnt matter, we lost ourselves in the enjoyment of the moment and the music.
And now? when did it fade? I still enjoy music, I do . . . usually as background noise when i'm driving or when i'm drawing/painting etc or cleaning house. . . but i have stopped enjoying it, i have stopped dancing my heart out or belting out the lyrics at the top of my voice.
Now i know, sadly, we dont live in a musical . . . though my family and i did have a rare moment on Christmas morning when opening presents that somehow ended up with all of us loudly and happily, and somewhat spontaneously singing, "when a moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie....that's amorer" . . . but we don't live in a musical....but sadly in my own life, and i would hazard a guess in a lot of people's lives.... we have turned down the volume.
imagine how much less gym we'd need if we randomly had bursts of song and dance in our homes . . . imagine how much better our souls would feel if we started to create moments that bring song, dance and enjoyment back into our lives again? i think its time to turn up the volume again, not because i have to but because its FUN!
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