I need to state here a very real truth: I love travelling!
wait let me say it again. I LOVE TRAVELING!
But as I sit here, sleepy eyed, body ached this morning with a huge cup of a coffee in my hand, I am also reminded of aspects of travelling that I sincerely despise. Time Zone changes are one of them. I wish my brain would get the memo already that I am back in South Africa. My physical body has been great, it gets tired at the correct time for sleep. In fact my physical body was marvelous on my first night back and bullied my brain into submission and allowed me 16 hrs sleep! [fantabulistic] but the next two nights, staring at the ceiling at 1am, my brain was wide awake and in charge.
But like all travelations, this too shall pass.
I truly enjoy exploring new places and being surrounded by different cultures. I continuously have "itchy feet" and want to go somewhere new or simply just go somewhere. And I absolutely love people watching. Sitting in an airport, surrounded by the ocean of humanity, not a single one the same, wondering where they are going to, where they came from. Simply seeing the diversity in life. What wonder to sit and ponder it all. Ponderful it truly is.
But these very people can also be the source of travelation too.
You know when you are tired and have a long flight ahead of you, if you could only make it through the security check point. So standing in the line for what seems like hours, even though the sign only says 15 minutes till the end] feet aching, back complaining, you are not in the best frame of minds at the point. Travelation threatens to sour your mood and then it happens. Someone jumps the queue and pushes in front of you. In this instance it was a young gentleman, easily 15 years younger than me. He pushes in, looking like someone that has just stepped of the fashion page for a top modeling agency, pretending to be complete absorbed in his phone and ignoring the complaints of all behind him. Now I can be loud and obnoxious when I need to be, so trust me I know that he heard my complaints but he just stood there with a huge smug look on his face. If that wasn't bad enough he farted, not once but frequently for the duration of our time in that queue. My poor assaulted nostrils and I were less than impressed with this travelation. Its amazing how you can be one of the most handsome people on the planet but your behavior can instantly make you unattractive. Smug, Arrogant and Fartazillion is not a winning combination.
PS I managed to get ahead of him at the actual security check point, and was one of those incredibly slow people in putting my shoes on, causing him to have to wait for a while. [side note: i was wearing flip flops]. Petty I know, but I can't be the mature adult all the time.
Now airplanes are my worst. My absolute worst. I am not scared of flying. I love the take off and landing. I actually enjoy mild turbulence. But sitting in a hard seat [especially on long international flights] while every part of my body protests in pain, and my ankles swell and boredom threatens to consume me. . . that is almost enough to put my off ever going anywhere. Almost. It actually puts me in the foulest mood, especially because even if I am medicated, I seldom get any sleep on a plane.
Thankfully you sometimes get to meet some more colorful interesting people, who help bring a moment of humor to the travelation of flying. Drunken yoga girl is one such interesting character.
I had wondered to the galley to obtain some water in the middle of the sleep time of the flight. You know when everyone else is sleeping, and all the lights have been turned off? Whilst standing in the galley area, a blonde lady, probably in her early 30s staggers by and makes eye contact. I know right? I almost wish I had managed to look at the floor and avoid this because eye contact alone was like an open invitation to her. She staggers in my direction and I find myself trapped between her and the airplane door behind me. [Don't think anyone would have been impressed if I had used the door as my exit plan.] Standing in front of me she does the drunken stance, we all know the one where the person has to lean too far forward whilst sticking their bums too far backward in an attempt to not fall over. The whole time dangerously swaying and invading your personal space. Yup the drunken stance.
Swaying and slurring she decides to befriend me. Asking me to locate a certain flight attendant so that she can thank him for helping her earlier. According to her, the ground crew and other stewards had fought with her because she arrived drunk for the flight and were threatening to have her removed from the flight for drunken misconduct but this knight in shining armor, this particular steward had calmed her down and managed to keep her on the flight. [Remind me to thank him later - not!]. She then continues to ramble on about how she spent 6 weeks in Mexico learning a new Yoga technique. Further rambling she has a quiet moment and her eyes get almost sparkly and she suddenly says, "I know what I can do, I can reset your energy and teach you some yoga, lets just step into the aisle" All the while she is still swaying and over leaning.
I am trying my hardest not to burst into laughter, partly from frustration and partly because of the hilarious image flitting through my mind. I mean airplane aisles are not the widest, too the point sometimes you have to walk sideways to pass by the legs and bodies spilling over their seats into the aisles. So yoga in a sober person in the aisle would be a contortionistic adventure at best but when the person is drunk on top of it, can you just picture the hilarity of it??? It would be the next youtube sensation. I was tempted to say yes, just to witness it but am not one who is into yoga in anyway shape or form and I was starting to feel claustrophobic, and trapped by the blonde drunk and her boozy breath. So I leant a fraction forward into her space causing her balance to shift, whilst she staggered and swayed to regain her balance I made a quick dash over the limbs in the aisle back to my uncomfortable seat. Thus escaping the Boozy Blonde Yoga instructor.
That is where I think I'll leave my current tales of travel and travelations, along with a few other made up words [just for fun]. It is more than worth the pain of the journey to get to your destination and enjoy something different...especially this time because it was a journey to spend time with some of my favorite people - commonly referred to as my family.
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