Wrapping Up 2014

YES that was an intentional pun linked to the fact that its almost Christmas. What a year its been.

This time a year ago, I was moving house. It was an incredibly stressful time, and an incredibly busy time. And I honestly had no idea just how nomadic the upcoming 2014 would prove to be.

Now a year later, I am yet again preparing to move house. In fact if I work it out correctly it will be the 8^th move in a year by the time I move into my new house. Yes, you read that correctly 8 MOVES IN ONE YEAR!

Its a wonder I have remained sane. All those moves and times have been either taking care of other people's property or staying with family and friends, I must admit I am excited at the prospect of my own little place, where I can finally put down some roots and stop being such a nomad.

Just after settling into our new house in Albania, and finally having it start to feel like home, I realised that God was saying it was time to move back to South Africa. A decade of serving that nation, including 6 years of living permanently in that nation, was now being wrapped up. It was incredible to see how faithful God was in the process of wrapping it all up. Everything I had in my heart to start or be involved in, was up and running. God had brought the right people along to take over all those projects and nothing new was opening. Plus the visa laws in the land were changing. It all came to a natural concluding point, which made it easier to leave.

Before I even moved to Albania, God gave me a scripture concerning it, from Joshua 1:14b – 15

“ You are to help them 15 until the Lord gives them rest, as he has done for you, and until they too have taken possession of the land the Lord your God is giving them. After that, you may go back and occupy your own land,”

so I knew in advance I wouldn’t be living in Albania forever, and I also knew I would go back to South Africa.

I will be honest when I first came back to South Africa, I was feeling totally uprooted and insecure about the future, and was exploring 4 different options, 4 different countries to choose to settle down in. but in my heart of hearts I knew I was meant to re-root back in my home, and in my home church.

Before leaving Albania, I had the privilege yet again [thanks to some special sponsors] to visit my missionary friends in Kosovo. I truly love that nation and have a huge heart for it as well. It was just another example of God's provision for me to end my time on the field well and to say all the goodbyes I needed to say.

April came along, my one suitcase was packed and it was time to head back to South Africa. I cant fully explain all the emotions but it was a cocktail of intense sadness and excitement. I was leaving what had been my life, my home, my friends, my nation with only one suitcase weighing 20kgs to start all over again.

Not sure of the road ahead or what it looked like. Just sure that it was time to move on.

Arriving home I was so grateful for my local church. I am truly blessed to be part of this particular spiritual family. On the field they were an amazing support, and proved to be even more so on me returning home. They came around me and embraced me and put things in place to allow me to take a breather, to debrief, to get some prayer and TLC and just rest upon coming home. And I am so grateful for the way God connected our hearts. It was almost as if I had never left, except that some of the kids were now 7 years older and a lot taller. I just slotted straight back into the family. This really helped transitioning a lot.

I saw God time and time again provide for me financially and even in places to stay over this period of rest. It was incredible. Coming back with nothing I was overwhelmed at how God took care of the details. And little by little as I went through the process I could see the picture of the future start to take place. I could make peace with settling back into South Africa, for a while. [after this year, I am fully convinced that God is very adventurous and full of good surprises, so you never know what the future holds, but I can be confident that it is worth it and it is good.]

Near the end of my assigned Rest time, God opened up the way for me to go on a mission trip to Uganda. Which was an amazing experience, that you can read about in my blog posts. What a joy! I can truly say, as an African, that I have now experienced Africa. This experience, as well as being given a chance to lecture in the bible college, were all part of his healing for me. It always amazes me how committed to our lives and our hearts, Our Father truly is.

I came off this mission field even more secure, with 3 desires in my heart, as I settled back into South Africa.

1] get a job

2] get a car

3] find my own space/place to live – near to my job and church.

There were other desires, and details listed alongside. . . things like be in a job that still allows me to be in short term ministry and missions. . . .when buying a car, look for an interest free loan. Etc. etc.

again God has proven faithful. Within a week of returning of Uganda I found a job. Honestly it dint turn out to be a good job atmosphere. But God used it for specific reasons and purposes.

Then he joined the dots and helped make a way for me to get a car, with a small interest free loan and some donations from friends.

And then, God provided me a new job. One that is perfect for me and where I am at in life right now, surrounded by loving Christian friends. Just a stones throw away from my local church. And I am loving it. And one that will allow me to be involved in short missions and ministry etc.

And now God has supernaturally found me a place to stay, with Christian landlords and Christian friends next door and its super close to work and church.

So wrapping up 2014, its been a year of transition. . . almost 8 moves, 4 countries and 2 jobs …. its been one of the hardest years emotionally for me but also one of the most satisfying.... but now as the year of transition ends, I sense God is bringing me into a year of rooting. Often a plant has to be uprooted from its container and replanted in a bigger container so it can grow bigger and thrive. I almost feel like that is exactly what God is doing in my life. The scripture He gave me as I left Albania was, Job 36:16

“He is wooing you from the jaws of distress to a spacious place free from restriction, to the comfort of your table laden with choice food.”

this is truth. This is what I have seen him do this year and know He is continually doing in my life at the moment. I stand overwhelmed by his goodness and all pursuing love. I am so grateful to be His daughter and to live this life He has designed for me.

I would also like to take a moment to thank my sponsors, those who have given so generously to me and my mission over the year, and stood by me even in the months I came back and found my feet. Those who have given once off gifts that enabled me to go to Kosovo and Uganda and places like that. Those who have given and helped me settle into homes or get a car etc. and also those who have given encouragement and friendship and emotional support. Those who have prayed for me with all their hearts. You are all an integral part of God's plan for my life and I am so grateful for each and every one of you. I pray His abundant blessing over your lives. Thank you for all you have done for me.

I look forward to updating you on the next part of the adventure as God unfolds it in my life.

Uganda 2014

Uganda 2014

I had the privilege of going on a mission trip to Uganda from 29 August till 7 September this year. This is just a snippet of how the trip went. Hope you enjoy reading it.

The Road is long, with many a winding turn ...

Even though its an old song, the start reminds me of the

journey to Uganda . . . long...very long and often very

windy and bumpy. Leaving home at 6:15 am on Friday

morning, we finally arrived at our destination at

4:30am on Saturday morning, exhausted. Our flying time was only a total of 5 hours :) it took us 7 hours to drive the 235 km / 146 miles [give or take] home. Its a long journey. Traveling back is just as bad. We drove 8 hrs, I had a migraine and motion sickness not a fun trip – and then spent 12 hours sitting in an airport before we got our flights home. The journey there is not for the faint hearted, traffic and drivers are an adventure in and of itself, and are guaranteed to increase your prayer life and it is exhausting BUT IT IS MORE THAN WORTH IT!!!!

First Stop...Mbale.

We stayed with Pastor Paul and Rose, and their family. What an amazing family. Despite arriving in the early hours of the morning, Rose was awake and had tea set up and waiting for us. Their hospitality amazed me. We also had the luxury of running water [cold], a “western”

toilet and electricity. We were fed and treated like kings and queens. 

 The house is situated in a village just outside of Mbale town. Surrounded by lush fields and banana plantations. Its so green here, its truly breathtaking. And no matter where you go, you can always catch a glimpse of Mount Elgon.  

We are in Eastern Uganda. We made a trip into

town on the Saturday to get some supplies. On our way home the car broke down and we walked through the village under a blanket of stars, back to our house. It was a peaceful day of just settling in and finding our feet, and preparing for Sunday.

Roll on Sunday

We were all asked to prepare a 45 min sermon, and to remember that we were working with a translator, so we must include that in our time limit. It was such an awesome experience because God not only gave me a word to share but also a prophetic word for a woman who would be in the congregation. So Sunday dawned and I was more than eager to get going. But as we got in

the car to head out, praying the car would get us there, I found out that the church hosting me hadnt confirmed if  they wanted me yet or not.

A moment of confusion followed. I knew I had heard God, but now the doors didnt seem open. But all I could do was leave it in God's hands. And let Him work out the details. The car did break down again at the first church. [we were all being dropped at different churches].

 And we nearly had to catch local transport to the next church. Local transport is called a Borda-Borda and is a motorbike. Thankfully another vehicle arrived and managed to take us to the next church. My church at this stage still hadnt confirmed. It was almost 11am, and churches all started at 9am. I learnt a lot about “African Time.” so I made peace with the fact I wasnt preaching, and was going to stay at this church where our leader was preaching. They decided they had space for 2 preachers, because they had announced it would be an all day seminar instead of regular church. Then they asked could I preach first and stretch my sermon from 45 minutes to 2 HOURS!

GULP!

But by the grace of God and the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, I managed to stretch it out for 2 hours and shared the prophetic word and prayed with people. It was a truly awesome experience. We met as a team for lunch, the food there is amazing! And then back to our church for the leader to preach the afternoon session. We left there just after 6. and made the trek back home where it was dinner and bed, we were exhausted.

Buwasungwi

I am not sure if I spelt that correctly or can pronounce it correctly but then I dont feel so bad, some of the locals even struggled to pronounce it. But from Monday till Thursday evening we moved to this village. Very rural, 10 kms from the Kenyan border. But so beautiful. There was no running water. An outhouse with a hole in

the floor, and a pig grunting outside the door. And two solar powered lights for electricity. We had wonderful woman who served us dilligently and with joyful hearts. They were there from 5 am, fetching water and making fires to heat water for

us, or cook for us and clean up after us. They are true gems, true servants. The people here are so humble and so willing to serve. Even coming into a church people will run and offer to carry your bags etc. its a humbling experience and I learnt a lot from them and their servant hearts.

We all taught in a conference that was hosted for this region. So each day  we each got an hour to preach. Our theme was focussed on Jesus building the church, and on the importance of local church. We would be ready to leave by 9:30. walk the half hour to the church. [unless it rained, then we were fortunate to get a lift]. Have worship and two sessions. Go back to the house for lunch, then back up the hill for the afternoon sessions. We 

would finish around 6pm. Get home, have tea, which was always set up and waiting for us. Eat at about 9:00 and then sleep, exhausted. Before repeating the process. Bucket showers were the order of the day.

Moquito repellant our constant companion. Mosquito nets over the beds, and I even got to share a mattress. The kids were beautiful

and always knocking on our doors. A chant of “Mzungu” - which means “white person” followed us where ever we went. It was an awesome experience. I jokingly said, “I Am born

and bred African, but now I have truly

experienced Africa.”

We take so much for granted in our “western” culture. These people appear to have so much less than we do, but yet they were happier than most I know. It was a good life lesson. Again I was grateful for how God spoke so clearly to all of us and gave us the ability to share his word. All our words seemed interwoven and to flow one from the other, even though we never discussed amongst ourselves what we were going to preach on. It truly was an annointed time, one I will cherish forever.

The weather was warm but muggy. And it did rain quite a bit. Often, even when it wasnt raining it felt like we were living in a cloud. For me it was the perfect temperatures. We drove home thursday night in a storm, along mud roads, with the wheels skidding which was quite an adventure. Never a dull moment, that's for sure.

Back To Mbale.

Thursday night we slept back in Mbale. We woke up to no electricity on Friday, and soon ran out of running water as well. But the week in the village had prepared us, and we all handled it well. We made our way back into town on friday, bought coffee. [Ugandan coffee is amazing!], went to pray on the land Pastor Paul has bought and has plans to develop for God's glory. And met another Pastor, Peter. Had a wonderful afternoon tea with him and his wife in their church. It was a bit difficult to talk at times because the rain was pouring down and the church had a tin roof. But it was worth the visit, meeting these amazing people.

Home Again

We left Mbale at 10:30 Saturday morning and

arrived at Durban airport at 1:20 pm Sunday.

Tired, dirty but happy. It was a great experience.

I am so grateful to whoever it was who felt in

God to sponsor me. I felt God restored and did

more in my life than I possibly saw him do

through me. I am eternally grateful. Please keep

praying for me, I still am not sure WHAT my

next steps are. But I know I am settling back in

South Africa. I am considering going on the a

short trip to Lesotho in Oct. but am not sure yet.

Thanks for your prayers and support.

let me have my say . . .

[before you start reading this blog . . . firstly its my blog and my opinion... i am speaking on behalf of myself and my viewpoint and not on behalf of anyone else.....secondly, i warn you, its about Israel and the current situation.....and i warn you i carry a strong opinion....if this is something you dont want to get into, then stop reading at this point.....]

Imagine a child sitting playing peacefully along the train tracks. his mom and dad standing beside him. its 9:55 am and the train passes through town everyday at 10am. A passer by, sees the child, checks his watch and knows the child must move.

the passer by goes to the parents, who don't seem to be making the child move and begs them to get their child off the tracks. the parents ignore the passer by. eventually, hearing the train in the distance the passer by goes to the child, warns him  of the on coming train and helps him off the tracks. the parents scold the passer by and force the child back onto the tracks, the dad stands on one side of the tracks and the mom stands on the other side of the tracks and anytime the child tries to move off, they beat him and force him back in harms way. the train is sounding is horn, and sadly the child is killed.

 when the press arrive the parents look distraught, tears are flowing, the mother appears inconsolable. ranting about how cruel the train driver and train were for killing her innocent son. the passer by tries to tell the true story but is silenced and accused of being insensitive. the news reports the train and its driver are at fault and their is anger and hostility that rises up against him. but not just against him, against the whole train company. and anger and violent protests rise up against them. the parents receive support and financial aid and people rally around, holding vigils and protests to comfort them and honor the loss of their son. . . .

 it doesn't sound right or fair, now does it? and most of us if we heard the true story would be angry at the parents, and wouldn't buy into the line they were selling the tv cameras and press to gain support. we would stand by the train driver and the train and the passerby, and demand the parents be jailed for murder and for deliberately putting their innocent child in harms way and forcing him to stay there. . .

 and yet, we stand and sympathize with Hamas, and shun Israel for loss of innoncent lives. Israel keeps its military bases seperate to its civilian bases. Hamas builds its weapon launching pads in schools, hospital and mosques. When Israel warns the civilian areas of an attack coming, because they need to destroy the launchers being used against themselves, ie they are DEFENDING themselves, Hamas forces its people to stay in dangers way, ending up in the loss of innocent lives. Hamas then raises up a public outcry and the world runs to its side because shame, the innocent are dead and the "train" [aka Israel is blamed.]

Yes its true Israel has had less loss of innocent lives, part of that is because God is supernaturally defending Israel and destroying rockets going in her direction. Part of that is because Israel allows its civilians to take shelter in bomb shelters. And part of that is because Israel keeps its military bases outside of civilian areas.

Yes its true, that there are too many innocent lives being lost in Palestine. and my heart grieves for them. i grieve not just over the fact that so many are dying. I grieve for them because their leaders, the ones they trust and who should be helping protect them and keep them safe, are deliberately forcing them into harms way and death, just so that they can create a propaganda against Israel. Just so that they can appear to be the bigger victims and gain more world support and sympathy.  how do you, as leaders, beat your people who are trying to flee an area targeted by Israel. Israel drops fliers in advance warning the people that area will be attacked. and yet their own leaders force them to stay and die. . .

yes its true, i grieve over a world population who are blinded by deception and buy into propaganda without seeking truth. the truth is, Hamas is responsible for most of the innocent lives lost, which is sad because its their own people. the other truth is, if you are not prepared to learn truth, and side with truth, and are buying into the deception and propaganda. . . then you are supporting Hamas and all its terrors it is not only using against Israel but also against its own people, and you are equally guilty.

be warned, they are deceivers with one goal in mind, and they will use you now, to gain support, but once they are done with Israel, do you really think they wont come after you and your nation?

flesh gives birth to flesh but Spirit gives birth to spirit [John 3:6]

Some of you might have seen my recent rant on facebook this evening....for those of you who didnt.... here it is.... "is a desire godly or impure? love or lust? are you walking in the will of God, led by the Spirit or are you moving in the fruit of the flesh? A Tree is known by its fruit...so if manipulation, lying, deceitfulness, gossip, greed, theft, division etc are its fruit... the root is not of God, its pure flesh and lust.... too often we cloak our ideas in biblical debates from scriptures we want to use to justify but the truth is we are doing it for our own gain and out of our own fleshly desires, and the fruit will always reveal the truth...what does it profit a man if he gains the world but looses his soul?? how many are building their own kingdoms and calling it the kingdom of God... its time to take stock of our lives, our motives but more importantly our fruit and call the tree for what it is...Spirit or Flesh.... Love or Lust.... Godly or impure... ‪#‎foodforthought‬"

this is something that has been on my heart for a long time....but from two different angles....and is something i am personally questioning myself on at the moment. . . looking at the fruit of different things i have been involved in, as a missionary....weighing up what has been for personal gain [not financial - missionaries dont get that - but possible status or emotional fulfilment etc] and what has genuinely been of God.... i have been challenged by locals as to the need to mention i am a missionary... is it a status thing, does it assert me as a leader or is it simply describing what i do? and this is just one of the many things that has caused me to question my motives and my heart in different tasks... i have also seen many a task fall to pieces and had to wonder if its because it was me moving in good ideas, even those that might seem biblical, or if they were things i was truly called to in God and i am just suffering persecution.... i am sure many of us will ask ourselves these questions from time to time.... 

i think a lot of it comes down to fruit.... what fruit is it producing in our lives.... Galatians 5 is one of the most quoted scriptures on this topic....

Galatians 5 : 6 - 26
 For in Christ Jesusneither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. 7 You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth? 8 That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you. 9"A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough." 10 I am confident in the Lord that you will take no other view. The one who is throwing you into confusion will pay the penalty, whoever he may be. 11 Brothers, if I am still preaching circumcision, why am I still being persecuted? In that case the offense of the cross has been abolished. 12 As for those agitators, I wish they would go the whole way and emasculate themselves! 13 You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. 14 The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." 15 If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
Life by the Spirit
16 So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17 For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law. 19 The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

its a good tool to use to weigh up our fruit and where we stand and what the root of the tree is . . . but another big influence is our hearts...our motives....God says that our hearts are sinful beyond all else... and he also says that He along knows our hearts... [paraphrased from different scriptures]... many times we do things we supposedly good intentions but we do it in our own strength [which truthfully is flesh] and we tie God's hands and eventually produce bad fruit.... i have seen this so often [for eg] in my work i the orphanage. . . .i will be overwhelmed with compassion for a child who is disabled and rejected and i will knock on any door possible to try fix this problem. [i am a rescuer by nature and find it hard to not step in.... i NEED to help and rescue and solve and make it right]... i will approach foreign organisations for aid, try get the kid adopted, try adopt the kid myself, try establish the foster care system in my city just so i can take the kid into a home etc etc.... but more often than not, once i have exhausted myself and my contacts and got no results... i get to a place of realising there is nothing more.... and without fail at that point God steps in and does what He is best at and what is best for the child....

so much of what i have done [not all], has come from what i didnt know was in me.... a desire to fix, and often i move in my own strength and exhaust myself.... and i later look at the fruit, wonder why its spoiled, worm infested and falling off the tree....but thank God he has shown me [in this specific example] that i was moving in my own strength [flesh].... and not giving to Him and moving in faith and in the Spirit.....

i see too many christians in division in this city...it is what Elbasan is sadly known for.... to many Christians gossiping....to many church splits....to many scandals etc etc....bad bad fruit everywhere and i think a lot of it is cause we are not honest with our motives....and we push and clammer over each other to build our own names, our own kingdoms or to attain our own personal satisfaction or emotional fill and we do it in the name of God... 

not all our work is that.... but there are definitely parts where our sin nature rules.... and too often its only once the fruit actually is produced, passed the deceptive bloom stage, where the flowers look all pretty and we can convince ourselves we are doing right or good.... but when the fruit comes in.... and its in that time, in that place that we need to make a choice....repent before God, cut the tree down, uproot it and start afresh.... or we continue to exhaust ourselves striving in the flesh to make our rotten fruit appear good....

i know its a heavy word.... but its something we should all, occasionally, take stock of...whether you are a minister, a missionary or an everyday christian we need to know that we will give an account to God for all our actions, .... our deeds will be tried by fire... 

1 Corinthians 3 : 12 - 15
12 If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, 13 their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. 14 If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. 15 If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames.

its been a difficult pill too swallow for me in some areas....seeing my flesh running rampant... but also good to see the fruit that only God can produce in the areas He called me to and i leaned on Him and moved by faith in love.... i continously pray for discernment in my own life... i have allowed myself to become burnt out and dispondant because i have moved so much in my own strength... in doing so i have sometimes allowed sin and bad character to show itself through me and it hasnt been pretty... but i am eternally grateful that i can always come to Him in repentance, and know that He forgives me and that by His love, Spirit and Grace i can learnt to say no to ungodliness and sin and keep in step with His Spirit.... 

Lord help me stay in a place where i am totally dependant on you.... leaning on you...and not moving in my own flesh, creating fruit that will rot and decay or falling into sin through the deceptiveness of my motives.....give me an ear to hear what Your Spirit is saying for me as i seek you for the next season in my life..... Amen.

almost a decade has flown by . . .

It's the 5th January 2014 . . . and it dawns on me.... this is the end of almost a full decade in Albania....10 years....sometimes it feels like 3 years and other times it feels like 30 . . .

I think I have experienced EVERY possible circumstance imaginable and been used in ways i never dreamed possibly, and even in ways i never desired. . . so let me recap a little.... [i will post a video summary of life here at the end of this blog as well....be sure to watch it!]

i came to Albania at the ripe young age of 25 [well barely having turned 25]. . . thinking i knew it all.... as we do at that age. . . i was here to see this nation changed and to teach them the right way..... *insert appropriate laughter from the wiser generation here* . . . little did i know it was i who would change and be challenged and taught and shaped.

i came in as a non affectionate person into a nation of huggers, kissers and hand holders and had to learn to show affection, but now its the most natural thing in the world to do, and a very real part of who i truly am.

i came in saying to God, i want to work with broken and abused woman, but PLEASE no teenagers or children. . . and YES, God has allowed me occasionaly to minister to hurting woman but more often he has used me with youth and teens and street children, and orphans. . . and i love it.

and on and on the list could go.... i realised very quickly each time that God asked me to do something that wasnt on my "list" of what i felt called to... it was because HE TRULY DOES KNOW BETTER AND KNOWS ME BETTER AND HAS MY BEST INTEREST AT HEART! this has been one of my biggest lessons here....along with trusting that when i have exhausted all i can do and all my contacts, sometimes i just need to take my hands of and watch HIM do what HE can, and HE has never disappointed.

i wish i could paint you all a rosey picture of the glory of missionary life. . . i often joke about how its all cappucinos and souvlaci's... etc  but its been anything but a rose garden, in fact its been as close to hell as i can imagine, alot of the times....so much heartache and tragedy and betrayal....and frustration and lack of results or changes etc.... and loneliness.... being a single missionary is one of the most difficult things out there.... i have shed more tears than i knew possible. . . but at the same time it has been worth it....each and every moment, even the difficult ones....because i have learnt so much more not just about who i truly am....but more importantly about who HE truly is. . . and also because THEY [the locals] are worth it. . . HE ADORES THEM AND IS DESPERATE FOR THEM TO KNOW HIS LOVE. . . .

so yes its been a long journey with many twists and turns and i dont know how much longer the albanian portion of my journey is.... but i know His hand has lead and guided all the way....and i am so grateful for that.....so without anymore more of my ramblings..... here is the last 10 years in review....