Fumbling Around In The Dark.

Have you ever been forced to play that game, while at school or on “team building” retreats etc, where you are blindfolded and you have to trust a friend to lead you safely, around the venue? I used to hate those games. . . firstly, because I can be a bit of a control freak and I need to know what is about to happen, so walking blindly around an unfamiliar place leaves me dangerously close to a panic attack. And secondly because when I am the one doing the leading these terrible thoughts bombard me like, “ wouldn't it be funny to make them walk into that big puddle of mud.” etc. Or sometimes I want to give them false information, or suddenly yell out, “stop. Careful there is a tree in front of you.” even though there is nothing there, just to watch their reactions. Of course I would never be so cruel as to actually act upon these thoughts but how can I trust that the ones leading me, have the same self control?

So there it is for all to see, the ugly side of my nature. . . I am sure you are all grateful I haven’t had the privilege of leading you while you are blindfolded. . . but we all have a bit of these thoughts hidden in us, I think that is what makes it so difficult to trust God in leading us along His paths. He recently gave me a scripture from

Isaiah 42:16

“I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.”

This is the second, of 3 very specific scriptures God has given me recently on Him wanting to show me a new direction for my life. Wanting me to trust Him to take me along a safe path. At first this scripture really scared me, as I said, I am a bit of a control freak and I want to know, in advance, that we are going from point A to point B and that “xyz” will happen en-route there. But this is not how God works because he wants us to trust him, to listen to His voice and be lead by Him. I think a part of me is scared, what if God has a touch of human nature? What if he leaves me stranded in the dark? Or makes me walk through a big mud puddle? But, of course, God is not like this. He is good and the plans He has for me, are for my good.

So I take hold of His hand and step into the path, blindly. The path is dark and uneven. But our God is with us. In it all, He doesn’t change, he is Emanuel, our God ALWAYS with us. This amazes me. Whether we are stranded in the dark or walking in the fullness of day, seeing clearly, it doesn’t change the fact that God, is, was and always will be God with us. He will never forsake us.

But he promises something a bit better. He promises to bring light to the dark path. To smooth out our rough paths and make them even. WOW! So not only do we get the best guide EVER, walking the path with us. The one who, Himself, has carved out the path and knows every inch, and where its going. But then He steps in and starts to open our eyes, shine His light and even out the path. And even then, He is still right there, by our side. This is cause to celebrate. This is our Hope, something to gives us a confidence and settle our souls when we are doubting. I am in a blessed moment in life, where God is starting to shine some light on the paths He has been leading me down, amazing me with how many paths He has woven in and around me to fulfil his specific purposes. But yet a lot still remains uncertain. In those time, I cry out to the one Who knows the beginning from the end, and lean on His word and His goodness. I encourage you to do the same. Here are the other two scriptures that God is really impressing on me at this time. I hope they encourage you, as much as they have encouraged me. Be Blessed. Keep leaning on our King.

Isaiah 48:17

This is what the Lord, who saves you, the Holy One of Israel, says: “ I AM the Lord your God, who teaches you to do what is good, and who leads you in the way you should go.”

Psalm 32:8

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.

Happy Birthday To Me! [and other things]

I can hardly believe i have already been back 3 weeks.  VERY eventful weeks, i might add. i hope to, at least once a month, if not more often, give you all a glimpse into the goings on of life in Elbasan.... so here are some of the highlights.

First up, baptism time. My flatmate and fellow missionary, Julie Shelly got baptized on Sunday 26th August. You can read her experience in her blog http://lifeofagirlnamedi.blogspot.com/2012/08/august-26-2012.html

All in all it was an awesome day, getting together as a church to picnic together and celebrate the new life we have in Christ. It was an awesome privilege to be alongside one of my closest friends on this important day of her life.

Our project for underprivileged kids is growing. Each week sees new children added to the group. The children are starting to feel more and more at home in the church, which is awesome but also means they are more ...um... expressive and energetic. The children are also coming on a Sunday to church meetings. Sundays don't always run as smoothly as we hope for, because they are wanting food etc, and struggle to sit and concentrate for that long, and often it means we are outside policing the kids, more than in the service listening to the word but we know it is worth it.

We had a moment of break through, which i wasn't expecting this week. It really touched my heart and i hope it touches yours. In our regular street kids, that we have been working with for over a year, there is an older brother named Toni. Toni claims to be 16 but we are not sure how accurate that is. Honestly we had almost completely washed our hands of Toni. He was always extremely hard and aggressive with us, completely disrespectful. He would come and remove his brothers from our meetings etc and use foul words with us. We chose to focus on the other brothers, who were softer and more open to help. We would still greet Toni with respect but weren't focusing our efforts on him. This week Toni showed up at our kids program, even though he is too old. He was soft, well mannered and respectful. He understood he was too old for the group and sat outside talking with the pastor and his wife. later when it came time to serve food, he came inside and offered to help. He arranged tables for us, put chairs around the table and poured water for the children.  He did all these things of his own accord and with a smile on his face. it touched my heart greatly to finally start to see him soften and become more open. We are still trusting God to work an amazing miracle in this young man's life. please keep praying for him. 

Another amazing moment this week has been watching how God specifically connects paths for His purposes. Many of you have heard me make mention of the Christian Art Center we are in the process of opening in Elbasan and Tirana. But I would like to take a moment to encourage you all, as to how God can weave together a story, if you allow Him the space and time to create His masterpiece. 15 years ago i first had the idea of a christian art center. it overwhelmed me and i knew it wasn't a possibility at the time, so i left it on the shelf and continued with life. I ended up being a full time missionary here in Elbasan, Albania. 4 years into my time here, i have coffee with a fellow youth leader and his wife. Blerim shares a vision God had given him to open a Christian Art Center and how when he was praying, God given him my name. This coffee happened 3 days after God had reminded me of this vision i had long ago lost. This was a mere 3 months ago. in that time i visited South Africa, and God put very specific people across my path. They all led me to contact a man, named Josh Butler. He is an American missionary who works with a team in Kosovo, just up the road from Albania. [literally!]  He works with Operation Mobilization and has a very similar vision to the one we are starting in Elbasan. He also happens to be a few steps ahead of us on this journey. This week we had the privilege of hosting him. He came in and really encouraged us with the Word of God and gave us practical advice on what to expect as we start along this road. He also many great ideas and contacts. We are so privileged that God has connected our paths and cant wait to see what all God has in store through this.

We also started our youth prayer meeting this week. We havent officially started youth meetings yet, but we know that without prayer, nothing is accomplished. We can do nothing without HIM, and we need to seek His face and His will and His presence first! our next prayer meeting is tomorrow night and i am really looking forward to it.

So besides youth stuff and kids stuff and art center stuff and and..... other stuff... it was my birthday this last week.... I will be honest, i never used to enjoy my birthday. But this year i realized, God ordained my life, for such a time as this! i might not always get it BUT He planned this and I need to trust He knows what He is doing.... so i chose to enjoy it this year. celebrating the life He chose to give me. . . and what a truly awesome life it is, because i get to know Him in it. ooops.... am getting sidetracked.

My birthday was awesome. i got spoilt with a gift almost every day leading up to my birthday. They were such thoughtful gifts too.... one of them was a hand crafted wooden bookcase....  I LOVE READING and have longed for a bookcase for soooooooooo long. it really touched my heart not just that i got this gift, but that one of my youth made it! i got lots of wished and phone calls and messages.... all of them made my day super special and i feel so loved. thank you! all of you! i spent the day, chilling out of town with some of my close friends.... and even got to eat sushi. I am so grateful that Tirana has "foreign" restaurants.

So that is a brief glimpse of a very busy time in my life.... if this is just the beginning of my time back in this nation, i am VERY excited to see what else God has up his sleeve. 

and yes, my hair is pink . . . don't worry mom, its fading out.